Sophia, I'm so sorry for your and Maria's loss, but glad that her mom is at peace--and I'm absolutely certain that you gave her a tremendous final gift.

What JZ said.

What JZ and Jesse said.

I always referred to the gathering after the funeral as a wake, but MedicGuy has vehemently insisted that the wake is before the funeral, and what happens after is called a repast.

A viewing has an open casket, and a visitation has a closed casket or an urn.

'Suela, I hate that those kind of machinations are a thing. It would be so nice if people just let other people do their jobs and supported them, rather than trying to cut them off at the knees. I hope you get some help soon to avoid burnout.

Yay for more stabbinations!

JZ, I'm glad you were able to repair the relationship with your father enough to be able to mourn him with little acrimony. It's so very evident how much you loved him and how much he loved you, and if nothing else, it's a beautiful thing to carry in your heart.

Oh yeah, I have also heard repast! I forgot about that one.

I think I've heard the funeral director use "repast" sometimes, when they announce at the conclusion of the internment.

The only wake I have ever been to was a post funeral party sort of thing with bagpipes. It's not part of my tradition at all, whatever it actually is or what you call it.

Thanks all! I have been to an Irish wake several times, and then I have just grown up with the viewing as Calling hours. My family is not religious at all, so we basically do nothing. No one even told me when my grandfather’s burial was and we lived in the same house! My mother has also expressed her wish for “nothing”.

I know it's weird, but I'm pretty grateful I lost my parents at a time when I could be there for them and we could celebrate their lives properly. (And that I didn't try to manage a demented parent through Covid protocols.)

I've thought this often over the past year when friends had to be apart from their loved ones. I was able to be with both my parents when they passed. It is always awful, but I know it would have been worse to be kept away.

I've said many times that, as much as I miss my mom, I'm grateful that I didn't have to worry for her through a pandemic.

No X-Ray vision or Carrie-like ability to wreak havoc so far.

No, silly, that's the more severe reaction to the second shot you've heard so much about!

My mother has also expressed her wish for “nothing”.

I was grateful that during a visit with a couple of her sisters, my mom mentioned that she'd just like a gathering of people at a restaurant rather than a full-on funeral, so I was able to keep her "memorial" low-key (when I couldn't have done much more), yet still feel that I was doing what she wanted.

Sophia I'm sorry for your loss and Maria's. I'm glad she has you.

I have had no real side effects of the vaccine except a sore arm and feeling scatter brained.

I have an update on Jay. It's a bad news good news thing.

The bad news is that he has major brain damage and if he were to wake up he would be aware , according to the doctors. And knowing Jay he would be miserable. However they think his brain is slowly dying so it doesn't look like he will wake up.

The good news is Jay's girlfriend wants to adopt his son. She loves him and he has a good relationship with her and her children. Children's services has schedule a home visit with Jay's ex wife. And Jay has documentation about everything his ex wife has done since they were married.

I dunno maybe if she's deemed unfit for Jay's son it will prompt help for her duaghters .

For my family, the wake is the day or two before, where people come in and talk to the family, offer condolences, do the viewing. The funeral has fewer people attend, especially if it's a full mass.

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin, askye.