JZ, my Nana had a facial and her hair done, a couple of days before she passed. My mother's hair dresser brings it up, and always says, "That's how I want to go."

My grandmother died with her first-ever pedicure! (But there was no way to know that at the time.)

Sophia, I'm so sorry for your and Maria's loss, but glad that her mom is at peace--and I'm absolutely certain that you gave her a tremendous final gift.

What JZ said.

(And that I didn't try to manage a demented parent through Covid protocols.)

That is for real! I can't imagine what a nightmare that must be.

what we really call it, which is sometimes, "collation" but usually just spoken of as, "Where are we going after?").

I think I would say collation only for refreshments at the church and/or "going back to the house after."

Suela, being the boss and having another job is definitely for the birds. I am currently filling in for an open position and I definitely should not be here posting because Friday is the only day I have any significant amount of non-meeting time to actually get work done.

I'm sorry to hear about Maria's mother. My condolences to her family and to you.

Sophia, I'm so sorry for your and Maria's loss, but glad that her mom is at peace--and I'm absolutely certain that you gave her a tremendous final gift.

What JZ said.

What JZ and Jesse said.

I always referred to the gathering after the funeral as a wake, but MedicGuy has vehemently insisted that the wake is before the funeral, and what happens after is called a repast.

A viewing has an open casket, and a visitation has a closed casket or an urn.

'Suela, I hate that those kind of machinations are a thing. It would be so nice if people just let other people do their jobs and supported them, rather than trying to cut them off at the knees. I hope you get some help soon to avoid burnout.

Yay for more stabbinations!

JZ, I'm glad you were able to repair the relationship with your father enough to be able to mourn him with little acrimony. It's so very evident how much you loved him and how much he loved you, and if nothing else, it's a beautiful thing to carry in your heart.

Oh yeah, I have also heard repast! I forgot about that one.

I think I've heard the funeral director use "repast" sometimes, when they announce at the conclusion of the internment.

The only wake I have ever been to was a post funeral party sort of thing with bagpipes. It's not part of my tradition at all, whatever it actually is or what you call it.

Thanks all! I have been to an Irish wake several times, and then I have just grown up with the viewing as Calling hours. My family is not religious at all, so we basically do nothing. No one even told me when my grandfather’s burial was and we lived in the same house! My mother has also expressed her wish for “nothing”.

I know it's weird, but I'm pretty grateful I lost my parents at a time when I could be there for them and we could celebrate their lives properly. (And that I didn't try to manage a demented parent through Covid protocols.)

I've thought this often over the past year when friends had to be apart from their loved ones. I was able to be with both my parents when they passed. It is always awful, but I know it would have been worse to be kept away.

I've said many times that, as much as I miss my mom, I'm grateful that I didn't have to worry for her through a pandemic.

No X-Ray vision or Carrie-like ability to wreak havoc so far.

No, silly, that's the more severe reaction to the second shot you've heard so much about!

My mother has also expressed her wish for “nothing”.

I was grateful that during a visit with a couple of her sisters, my mom mentioned that she'd just like a gathering of people at a restaurant rather than a full-on funeral, so I was able to keep her "memorial" low-key (when I couldn't have done much more), yet still feel that I was doing what she wanted.