My dad finally had his sleep study yesterday. We were expecting to get results in 3-4 weeks because they're understaffed and backed up, but the results came back today so I guess they were as conclusive as we knew they would be. Next steps: wrangling his regular doctors for a CPAP.

I'm going to try to get away from work for a bit to take myself for walkies in the sunshine.

Walks in the sunshine is good!

I am on a plane. And the crazy amounts of pollen in Philadelphia really got to me today, ick. I remember last time I came in spring and freaked out that I’d gotten Covid (but tested negative)…only to realize it was allergies when I got home to chilly Seattle and promptly felt fine.

But I’m bored and none of the many books on my iPad are calling to me. I want to be home and snuggling my dog but I don’t get to until tomorrow. And I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.

But in good news the not-dog-sitter finally sent me my money back! So yay there.

I'm going to try to get away from work for a bit to take myself for walkies in the sunshine.

I'm with meara, sunshine walkies is innately good.

But in good news the not-dog-sitter finally sent me my money back!

Justice!

I can ladle out a bit of good news. On Monday Matilda and I went to her friend Iris' house, because Iris' dog, Cupid, had a malignant tumor in her mouth that they couldn't operate on and it was going to be terminal and it didn't look like there was that much time.

Today, I got a text from Iris' mom, Janet, and they had decided to go ahead with the surgery anyway. Cupid survived the surgery (she's 13+) and had a cone on and she's going to be around for a little bit longer at least.

This is the dog we've been dogsitting for periodically over the last four years. And she was a great comfort while JZ was sick, just hearing the little click click click of her claws on our hardwood floor. Which Jacqueline rightly said was the homiest sound.

Less good news is on Lola, the mother of Matilda's close friend, Isabella. It's officially Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer, but at least it's been announced and I can tell Matilda about it and she can support Isabella.

But I'm not telling Matilda tonight because her baseball team won their game and she had a line drive single into left and was feeling good about life. Which is not nothing this week.

Mixed emotions on Lola's diagnosis being disclosed finally, because it is so dire, but it is so important that her loved ones have this information so they can cherish the time they have left.

Hooray for Cupid and for Matilda's line drive!

My brother may have relapsed, or if he didn't then he punched a cop (but didn't get arrested or killed), or if he didn't punch a cop one of his clients came to his house with a crowbar and attacked him. (He told me the punched-a-cop story on Tuesday, and then told me the client-with-a-crowbar story yesterday. The huge inconsistencies and outlandishly unbelievable claims point towards my brother drinking again.)

Notable: my brother's wife was out of town, and whenever he's relapsed, it's been when she's out of town. (Not that he relapses every time she goes out of town; just that his small handful of relapses have coincided with her going out of town.)

SiL got home yesterday and texted me and said he smells like he's been drinking, but he denied it. And she said that those outlandishly unbelievable stories are his exact M.O. when he relapses.

So I'm leaning much more towards it being a relapse, because when you punch a cop you get arrested or killed on the spot, and because if his client beat him with a crowbar he would be in the hospital (I have resisted making Jason Todd jokes, except to Tim).

I'm extremely concerned, extremely stressed, but also angry -- NOT for relapsing, but for lying about it. (And if he really did remain sober and punched a cop/got beaten with a crowbar, well, then shame on me for jumping to conclusions.) I understand that the shame of relapsing would lead him to lie, but by now he has to know that he can tell me the truth and the only thing I will do is ask him what kind of support he needs.

My therapist is a goddamn QUEEN. I've only been having monthly sessions for a while, and my most recent session happened to be Monday, before all this shit happened. I texted her yesterday and asked if she has room in her schedule for an emergency session (I said it didn't need to be yesterday, or even this week), and she said she can see me Monday, but she could also call me from her car at 4:30 after a meeting. QUEEN. So I booked the Monday appointment, but also did the phone call, and she talked me through a lot of my great big feelings.

I need a month-long tropical vacation off the grid where no one can get in touch with me (unless they have info about Kate Middleton's whereabouts).

My therapist is a goddamn QUEEN.

Absolutely! Stepping up when you needed it.

I'm sorry about your brother. I know he's your closest ally in all the family biz too.

Relapse is a part of recovery. Which is not to say that everyone who gets sober will relapse; plenty people get sober and stay sober. But plenty more do relapse. So it's not like "yay, relapse!" but just "okay, this happened; what do you need to move forward?"

It does suck, though.

Oh, no, Tep, I'm sorry. I'm glad your therapist is supporting you! You are being way more spiritually advanced than I with the relapses happen acceptance, it definitely sucks.

Good call on letting the line drive joy stand without dropping the pancreatic cancer news as soon as possible. I'm relieved you will be able to share that with Matilda, though.

That's a lot of family crap, Steph.

Steph, I am sorry. Lots of ~ma to you and your family.

David, I'm thinking of you and Matilda.