Honestly, it was an addiction. The whole thing is very sad. This whole mortal coil thing sucks in many ways.

What a sad story. I'm sorry.

Laura, I'm sorry. Sad news.

Cross your fingers for the Middle East tonight. Looks like both Israel and Hamas are not delivering 100%, so no hostages return yet today. They have 4 hours to release today's hostages or the deal is off. And I'd really really really like to see these kids back in the country and the trucks entering Gaza.

Oh, yeah, smonster, I meant getting the sheriff. I mean, it sucks if things go from sweet nothings to that, but best not to ignore your instincts. I love spanikopita despite overall not enjoying spinach that much. Too bad about the eggs, but at least it still produced something you could eat.

Laura, that is very sad.

Hec, thanks for the update! Now I want spanikopita. Or creamed spinach, or something. I’m also chuckling at Matilda and the freshman boys. Good for her.

Shir, sending all my hopes that both sides keep their promises.

Oh, yeah, smonster, I meant getting the sheriff. I mean, it sucks if things go from sweet nothings to that, but best not to ignore your instincts.

Well, since I suddenly had zero clue about what was real and what wasn’t, it seemed like the best call despite me being pretty ACAB. And the friend that went with me was in favor and I trust her experience.

Considering the way R behaved*, I am incredibly grateful that we did. The deputies went from standing on the porch and trying to politely chat with R about their house to one standing between R and my friend and the other right at my six encouraging me to finish up, telling me that if R and I started talking again they would be happy to come out for another “keep the peace” call.

* throwing my clothes on the floor despite me asking them calmly not to, throwing a plush blanket at me, needling my friend and her husband, telling the deputies that I’m crazy, and saying to me “If you’d let me know I could have had all this ready, so this is your fault too”

Good call Smonster. Those "Civil standby" calls (where "civil"=non criminal situation, maintain the peace while someone collects belongings or moves out or does whatever they need to do safely and with backup) are a great service that I often wished were more available and more used. Domestic stuff can go sideways so very fast.

I had a pleasant thanksgiving with friend and her family. She lost her Dad last year on the 23rd, and there was much discussion among mom and two adult kids over what day he actually passed. Mom remembered Nov 23rd because she had to sign and date all the paperwork. Daughter remembered "day before thanksgiving" because it was Wednesday last year. Son remembered "two days before thanksgiving" because two days after he passed we did a slightly delayed big ritual sacrifice with pie since that's when they were all able to pack up and travel.

I made stuffed persimmons from my backyard tree which were amazing. Next year I'll stick with persimmon pie, even if there are already three other pies (pumpkin, apple, and peanut butter freezer pie for the youngest who only likes that one kind of pie.) Four pies is fine for ten people, right?

My sister texted me late Wednesday night along the lines of "Dad told you what's going on, right?" but she doesn't do phone calls and stopped responding to texts so of course Thursday morning was all frantic phone calls and texts trying to not be frantic. He's been in the hospital since Monday after two weeks of difficult breathing and significant abdominal bloating due to internal fluids. It's apparently all a medical mystery...he has a raft of health issues that complicate, but aren't The Issue. Liver values are terrible (life-long alcoholic, so not shocking) and cardiac values are terrible (quadruple bypass surgery in 1995 so also not shocking) but still doing rafts of tests. His girlfriend K (who is a retired ped pysch nurse, but a nurse) is the one who took him to the hospitable and has been advocating for him. I'm so grateful she's there....I'm 3k miles away and had no idea. Baby sister (she's 26, but still baby sister to me) has also been there but she's stressing big time. I was looking at flights for Friday morning, but K was very adamant to not show up just yet. Tiny hospital room, no diagnosis, nothing to do. She says it's not time yet. I just....need at least two days to *get* there. Stoopid lack of teleportation.

Next step apparently is a cardiac cath on Monday or Tuesday and see how he functions without three IV lines of meds. He was mostly incoherent Thursday morning but apparently eating a little today and able to form coherent sentences again. Sounds terrible to me, but the professional says "wait and see" so I'm waiting. I'm not very good at waiting. Laundry is done, bags can be packed in an hour. I might be on the East Coast next week, maybe.

I also spent a couple hours pondering if it would be better to lose my dad on the one year anniversary of friend losing her dad, or if that was too Single White Female in terms of timing. It's an ongoing joke. She moved to PDX, then I followed her to PDX. She bought a Kia, a year later I bought a Kia. She married the mailman....I'm not allowed to date letter carriers ;P But yeah, big props to my dad for night dying on the 23rd. That would have been awkward for me, stealing grief thunder from my host family who just lost their dad one year prior.

Oh lord, erin. Have y’all been close?

Domestic stuff can go sideways so very fast.

Yup. When women try to leave, they sometimes get killed. It’s the biggest danger point. Thankfully, AFAIK, R is anti-gun. But still, my friend thinks that since R did all that with the deputies there, they may well have gotten violent if just the three of us had shown up.

I'm very close to my dad emotionally. Not enough to move back to VA, but love for the entirety of my family clearly hasn't been enough to get me to move back to the east coast . I think about it often, especially with my mom on her own and also deteriorating. At least dad has K and his younger daughter in town and nearby. I've been on the west coast for more than 20 years now. That's a lot to uproot, especially just out of filial obligation.

And you are absolutely correct. You never know how someone is going to behave when emotions run high, especially in uncharted territory. Not worth finding out.

(apologies for not responding to other posts here)

They're on their way back. Mostly children. Huge, huge relief. However, Hamas seperated some families in this round, which is against the agreement (that is, they're keeping mothers in captivity while releasing their kids). So I'm not sure how tomorrow's gonna look like.

Ugh. Why can’t people just play nice instead of pushing the boundaries all the time? I’m sorry, Shir, but glad the kids are home at least.

I've been on the west coast for more than 20 years now. That's a lot to uproot, especially just out of filial obligation.

For sure. I never understood why it was important for my parents to move back closer to their parents. I get it now. My desire to move back to NC is getting stronger all the time, for a number of reasons.