Oh God. This is mortal and stupid.

Oh, that poor baby girl...

And poor David. What an incredible amount of multiple stresses you are under. Please, please tell me someone on the ground there has gotten you water, a Kleenex, a snack, some Tylenol...5 minutes to shriek alone in a closet.

And poor David. What an incredible amount of multiple stresses you are under. Please, please tell me someone on the ground there has gotten you water, a Kleenex, a snack, some Tylenol...5 minutes to shriek alone in a closet.

Seriously.

David, we're not close, and you probably know this: but in case repetition helps.

You and Matilda get to feel all the feelings. All the rage and anger and resentment and frustration, and loneliness and isolation and confusion.

You get to yell at the pension fund and the bank tellers and the utility people who somehow don't understand that sometimes people die.

Remember that people have your back: your Buffistas, your family, your friends. But also that it's okay to feel whateverthehellyouarefeeling in the moment.

Grief sucks, but it's better than never having a reason to grieve.

You're still here, and we mourn JZ, but we're here for you. (And Matilda, Emmett, and all the family.)

^^^

that's an appropiate time to freak out. Oh, Matilda, poor boo! if you can feel hugs from afar, here is a huge on for you {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Matilda}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{and David and her step-mom, too}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

What Consuela said

Consuela said everything I was thinking.

I ululated while listening to Welcome to the Black Parade, driving across Lake Pontchartrain, at sunset.

Fist pump of appreciation!

Turns out my MiL storming out in a rage was the best thing that has happened to me in months.

Because, JZ's bestie Lisa came in and the mood shifted, and the Sacred Circle of Loving Women started drinking and crying and laughing and wearing Jacqueline's hats and...it's what we needed. It's what Matilda needed especially.

Which would not have happened with Sunny here.

I'll share pictures but just on the Buffistas group because my MiL must never see people laughing.

Oh love. I’m glad you have them.

So much of my love, my sorrow - all my emotions - is with you right now.

I read more than a hunderd messages all at once, so I was grateful to get to the end and see that the last post has laughter in it, and Matilda surrounded by that affection and tears and laughter, letting her just feel what she feels and know that it's OK.

No, it's more than OK. In that same post with the ululating, JZ wrote that laughter through the mandatory tears is encouraged.

Well, ululating here is associated with expressions of happiness, and I anyway can't do it, so I'll laugh through my tears as best I can.

Also, what Suela said.

[Edit: also, I'm here through all of your night, thanks to the different timezones. If there's anything I can do while the world around you is sleeping, please let me know.]