Gratitude to those now & gone who have preserved the bits & bytes here over the decades. Whew, feelings.

It helps me to come here and read the love, humor and comfort being shared. When I think about it, I am cycling between bitter rage, anger, and outrage.

Outrage for David, Matilda and their whole family. And for Jacqueline. She deserves more time on this planet. With her family. And her family deserves more time with her. David and JZ should have grown old and ancient together. Matilda should have her mom for a long time—time enough to see her grow into the amazing adult she will be.

I know “deserves” had nothing to do with how this works.

I am beating anger and rage back with a big stick. I lost a friend here in May to cancer—the same bullshit metastasis into the peritoneum. Young, generous, kind, funny, sweet.

And now Jacqueline. It’s not fair. I am searching for at least some peace, if not acceptance. Because this is unacceptable.

Hey look! It's the urn size calculator! [link]

JZ is about 116 lbs now so she needs 116 cubic inches. Which is (apparently) 8 cups.

Which is a pretty big cake.

But this apothecary jar is 4x4x9: [link]

Which is 144 cubic inches.

Is my math right? That doesn't look like it will hold 8 cups.

I need a baker!

I walked out the door this morning and startled a raven. It hopped in the air, utterly failed to recover its dignity on the way back down, and flew out of my line of sight. I'm not thinking of it as an omen, necessarily. There are ravens here all the time. But it did make me think of JZ and you all, and that I really should catch up on the board after falling behind again. And so here I am. And here you are talking about writing desks.

And here you are talking about writing desks.

As we do!

I know I've told this story before, but for the record...

Jacqueline texted me saying "I've found a little writing desk and I think I want it."

Me: "Is it a roll top secretary? Do we really need a writing desk? We've gotten a lot of furniture."

JZ: "It's just a little writing desk but I love it. If I had this writing desk I'd feel like Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice."

Me: "Hmmm, that is pretty persuasive..."

JZ: "But! I'd also feel like Winona Ryder in Little Women."

Me: "Okay, clearly a double Winona means you have to have it."

And she got it. And she loves it.

And here you are talking about writing desks.

::loves shrift::

I also completely adore that JZ actually used the word "ululating."

Awwww. Will she be set atop the double Winona?

Damnit, David.

It’s a cylinder. 2” radius & IF the h of the interior vessel is 9”h(which I think not, I think it is 4”, cap is extra inches)= pi radius^2 x h= 3.14x4x9=113ish.

(And the damnit is because I could not NOT solve this math problem, and, yeah.)

The calculator is for interior volume. I expect those listed container dimensions are exterior measurements.

I’ve left a voicemail for my stepmother. When she calls back I will ask her for some details about my Dad’s urn.