After several days of lingering in the same zone, Jacqueline took a turn this morning.

Markedly less able to focus and communicate.

While I was out running she had a pee accident in bed, and the people I had left with her were not able to move her and they got upset. She was still on the wet sheets when I got there, because when they had tried to move her to get the sheets she'd yelped in pain.

But I had called Emmett and we got her safely out of bed and to the bench seat in the shower on a folded over towel. Washed her body lightly while they changed the sheets. Got her dried off, and in a new diaper and pajama top, ushered her back to the clean bed, changed her dressing and gave her some morphine so she's now conked out.

Her mom was in a tizzy and was like, "Shouldn't we call a nurse to help with things like this?"

And I thought but didn't say, "The only reason there's an issue is because you're 81 and can't move her safely, but both Emmett and I can do it solo, and there was no problem with us doing it together. You don't need a medical intervention when somebody wets the bed."

Also, I didn't say what should have been obvious to her, that there's not going to be any more moving out of the bed. We're entering the end stage.

We're all tired and a little irritable. There's been a good tag team rotation of people helping. Lisa slept over night but left at noon. Hannah was gone yesterday but coming back about now.

And JZ's brothers are both returning at about 3pm this afternoon.

Anyway, I'm glad she's sleeping on morphine. Her body is very worn down and she's very confused. I just want her to sleep and ease out of this world.

I'm sorry, David. It's hard.

I would also have to think that being moved by two people JZ knows and loves would be so much less frightening than being moved by a nurse. Much love to you all.

I just want her to sleep and ease out of this world.

Yes. That's how my grandmother went, and it was a blessing.

As somebody who gets moved and cleaned by others, Anne, definitely agree, both as just a woman, and with my advocate hat on. So sorry, y'all. Intellectually, I know it gets like that, but reading it in your voice, Hec, that used to tell me much happier stories, well, it hurts more, but I feel like being your audience is the best that I could do.

Having just been through this with my mom….hugs David. And big hugs JZ. So hard and the indignities of dying are so rude.

I'm so sorry David.

I did find my physical pictures from DC. They are not very good pictures but I'm going to try and take pictures with my phone and see what I can do. I have a lot of pictures of people sitting nad talking or whatever , which is fine but they are all dark and kind of blurry.

I do have several of JZ and one of David although I thought I had others and i may have some somewhere else.

I also found my external hard drive but not the cable to attach it so I ordered one and it should be here tomorrow and I'll pull off what I can.

As always, thank you for sharing the hard moments as well as the good memories, David. Much love to your house.

Timelies all!

It’s Friday and Mr. S will be visiting for the weekend. Still don’t know where he’s going to school yet.(the IEP meeting we had today was not productive since there wasn’t anyone there from his current school and the people from the county didn’t think they had enough information)

David, I know that feeling well. I just wanted my grandfather to not be in anymore pain near the end. Wishing any easy passing for Jacqueline, and I’m keeping all of you in my heart.