Jacqueline woke up this morning and requested poached eggs and she ate them both and that's a good start on the day.

I am happy to read this. I was talking to my mother yesterday and she said, “Oh, I know who Jacqueline is she’s always saying lovely things about my granddaughter on Facebook. She seems like such a lovely person.” So, she sends her good thoughts your way as well.

I hope Tim’s surgery went well today.

Love and ~ma to all of you.

Tim's doing well -- I didn't get a chance to talk to the surgeon yet, because he had another surgery to do, but it seems like it went well. Tim is full of drugs and snoring softly.

I didn’t get a burger, but the hospital cafeteria had salmon and broccoli, which was very tasty.

That's all good to hear, Steph. Well, the burger news could've been better, but we'll take it. And you can get one for dinner instead.

Post Deleted!

We met with Jacqueline's UCSF oncologist via Zoom.

We're not going directly into Palliative care at this point.

There's an FDA approved medicine (Lonsurf?) that we could take which might prolong her life for another couple months, but the side effects are nausea and fatigue. It works best on people with Stable Disease, though, and her cancer has continued to grow.

UCSF also has a clinical trial for metastatic colon cancer coming up, but she doesn't know the details and she's not sure we would qualify because Jacqueline's liver numbers aren't great.

The plan now is to take two weeks off from all treatment and see if her appetite and organ function improves without the chemo. Or if the ongoing GI issues are more directly related to the cancer itself.

In two weeks we'll go in and do more tests to see what her numbers look like. Then we can find out more about the Clinical Study, but I'm not counting on that to save her.

Then we can make a decision about whether we want to go on this prolonging drug.

Wishes for all of your family to have patience and courage through the roller coaster to come. Tests, decisions, good days, bad days. It's a whole lot to try and stay in the moment. Sending so much love.

ION, Jacqueline ate an English muffin tuna melt for lunch and it stayed down!

Two for two on meals today!

Matilda cheerleading all the way, "Good job, Mommy!"

Keep in mind that palliative care and hospice care are two separate things.

I hope that the next few weeks gives you all time to recover your strength and energy and balance.

Indeed, being made pain-free and comfortable is a blessing whether or not one is pursuing further treatment options.

All my love to you, JZ and David.

I don't know what I would do. I do know that sometimes people like me wouldn't get all the the choices because of assumptions(In my view, both right and wrong,) about how tough our life already is.(and a bunch of other crap related to money and productivity and such that brings me down more than thinking about tumors, and definitely contributes to the Assumption thing.) I sometimes feel that I have time on this planet I don't deserve, so I feel guilty that I'm not some kind of Phenom that makes the most of every instant. I feel guilty that I can't say that I wouldn't change a thing, love my life, and am eager to fight for every day(That seems like the Good Disability Rights Activist answer, in addition to my wishing it was 100 percent true, but I lie enough in other places...it helps me not to do it now!) I hope this isn't like when I ruin people's online medieval theme park fantasies with my reality.(it's not as fun for me, I should note)