We met with Jacqueline's UCSF oncologist via Zoom.

We're not going directly into Palliative care at this point.

There's an FDA approved medicine (Lonsurf?) that we could take which might prolong her life for another couple months, but the side effects are nausea and fatigue. It works best on people with Stable Disease, though, and her cancer has continued to grow.

UCSF also has a clinical trial for metastatic colon cancer coming up, but she doesn't know the details and she's not sure we would qualify because Jacqueline's liver numbers aren't great.

The plan now is to take two weeks off from all treatment and see if her appetite and organ function improves without the chemo. Or if the ongoing GI issues are more directly related to the cancer itself.

In two weeks we'll go in and do more tests to see what her numbers look like. Then we can find out more about the Clinical Study, but I'm not counting on that to save her.

Then we can make a decision about whether we want to go on this prolonging drug.

Wishes for all of your family to have patience and courage through the roller coaster to come. Tests, decisions, good days, bad days. It's a whole lot to try and stay in the moment. Sending so much love.

ION, Jacqueline ate an English muffin tuna melt for lunch and it stayed down!

Two for two on meals today!

Matilda cheerleading all the way, "Good job, Mommy!"

Keep in mind that palliative care and hospice care are two separate things.

I hope that the next few weeks gives you all time to recover your strength and energy and balance.

Indeed, being made pain-free and comfortable is a blessing whether or not one is pursuing further treatment options.

All my love to you, JZ and David.

I don't know what I would do. I do know that sometimes people like me wouldn't get all the the choices because of assumptions(In my view, both right and wrong,) about how tough our life already is.(and a bunch of other crap related to money and productivity and such that brings me down more than thinking about tumors, and definitely contributes to the Assumption thing.) I sometimes feel that I have time on this planet I don't deserve, so I feel guilty that I'm not some kind of Phenom that makes the most of every instant. I feel guilty that I can't say that I wouldn't change a thing, love my life, and am eager to fight for every day(That seems like the Good Disability Rights Activist answer, in addition to my wishing it was 100 percent true, but I lie enough in other places...it helps me not to do it now!) I hope this isn't like when I ruin people's online medieval theme park fantasies with my reality.(it's not as fun for me, I should note)

And this isn't really what we do, but {{{Hecubus}}} I'm sorry you had to tell everyone by yourself, but she's lucky she has you to do it.

I'll be over here rooting for every batch of eggs you can possibly produce, and I don't even eat eggs.

Two for two on meals today!

Matilda cheerleading all the way, "Good job, Mommy!"

Awwww, warm fuzzies for me

I just RSVPd to my niece's wedding using a QR code. Truly, we live in the future.