Two great parents and great memories of family love and support. I was a total jerk to them, and felt like crap about it when I was old enough to realize how blessed my life was. Karma dealt me one for that, big time. Hoping it will pass.

Awww, I don't think it's Karma. And to be honest, I get a little grumpy with your boys putting you through the wringer.

Kinda want to get myself a Filet-o-fish, now.

Talked to my mom and we are calling off the family gathering that was planned for August, originally meant to celebrate my dad’s 80th birthday last September but rescheduled 2 or 3 times due to pandemic surges and this time we are just not even going to try to reschedule. Mom’s going to try to arrange for people to visit on a more individual basis and keep me informed so I can drop by for those if I can. A little easier to control everyone’s exposure that way, and way easier to work into everyone’s schedules. I may keep the vacation days, I could use the time off. And there was some event or other close to home that I was thinking I couldn’t go to because I’d be with my folks but maybe I can, if I can remember what it was…

There is so much I don't even really know about what shaped my parents. Partly because no one told me and partly because I haven't been up to hearing some of it. I know some and it's not something I really want to get into at this point but it includes... stuff like my Mom's paternal grandfather being Comanche and marrying a white woman , then dying when my grandfather and his siblings were teens and their mother not being a nice woman at all. My dad's paternal grandmother divorced my grandfather's dad when he was young (my grandfather was born in 1911 or so) and there was a lot of other stuff. The nicest thing I've ever heard about either of them was that my dad's paternal grandmother was a good cook. Other issues include: Mom's grandfather actually killed himself, I don't know why. There is also alcoholism and other addiction issues in the mix for that generation and my grandparents generation. Definitely emotional and psychological abuse, possibly physical and sexual abuse. And things like, I didn't know until I was an adult but me and my other girl cousin were never allowed alone with my paternal grandfather... Also mental health issues on both sides of the family that are just guesses for my grandparents generation and older. But my dad's siblings all have anxiety, depression, insomnia, etc. Addiction runs on both sides of the family, other mental illnesses do as well. I'm not sure about Mom's but I know they have issues even if they weren't diagnosed. And that's not getting into my cousins or their cousins.

At one point I was explaining some milder stuff to..not my current therapist but another one and he was like "you never had a chance did you?" . I think my current therapist was more positive about things, like my resilience and stuff like that.

Steph sorry Covid ruined your get together.

And to be honest, I get a little grumpy with your boys putting you through the wringer.

Things are vastly better with the elder. He is 30 now and showing more responsibility. He even came and dog/cats sat while I went to FL for a week. And the house was cleaner when I came back than when I left! Mostly because they vacuumed, which I hate. He is door-dashing and loves it for the flexibility of schedule and not having to deal with a boss. For the fist time I feel he would be okay if something happened to us, and that is huge. His younger brother, things are worse than ever. Not even a text for Mother's or Father's Day. Sucks, but I just have to be patient at this point. I just give him a text when there is some major family event, like illness or births, or something he should know so he can't claim no one tells him anything. There is just no reason, so I give up looking for one, and just hope he gets a clue at some point.

My much more creative friends, I need inspiration. I need to name my Otter Lake house. Many of the places here have names. The regional word is always camp. "I am up to camp this weekend." The names often include the word camp, otter, or the owner's name. Things like Otter Bliss, Laura's Lodge, Camp Comfort, that type of thing. Note I like Otter Bliss, but not committed to it. A very rough graphic is here - [link] I would pay an artist friend of mine to improve it and paint it.

Laura, I think your link is missing www.

I need to name my Otter Lake house

Otter Cottage on the Lake
Camp Why I Otter
Otterly Divine
Camp Woulda Shoulda Otter
Villa Otterly Ridiculous
Mistake By The Lake
Emmett Otter's Jug-Band Cabin
Voyage to Otter Space
Grand Theft Otter
OtterBiography
The Ottermatic Abode

I need inspiration. I need to name my Otter Lake house.

I don't have suggestions but in case any of this provides inspiration:

My family's original cabin up in Canada is Home Base (the Goldman's down the beach next door is First Base but that's as far as the baseball theme went*). The little cabin next to the big house is Duz & Grum's because it belonged to my mom's grandparents after they built it to let their kids and grandkids take over Home Base. Every single cousin in my generation (who never knew Duz or Grum) grew up hearing the name as "Dozen Grums" and none of us EVER had the balls to ask what a Grum was and why the house was named after twelve of them.

Our neighbors on the other side have Netathca Lodge, which sounds like a First Nations word but is actually made of the original generation's mom and three daughters' names (NETtie, Agnes, THeresa, CAtharine). Down the beach a ways Pamaqua follows a similar convention (Pa, Ma, 4 kids).

The cabin we don't own anymore is called The Three Bears because it looks like exactly what you would expect a log cabin in the middle of the woods to look like. It's like, unfairly adorable and picturesque.

My parent's current cabin is The Palms because that's my dad's sense of humor. The new cabin they are building on that property is No. Beach because it is north of The Palms and it does not have a beach.

*Ironically the Goldman's cabin actually IS right next to first base of the baseball diamond in the field next to their house, but my family's cabin is through the woods in the opposite direction and is older, so I honestly have no idea how we got that name.

And Steph, I am so sorry that asshole Covid ruined your vacation. I think the last (and only) time I've eaten a Filet-o-Fish was in 1999 when I went to a McDonald's in Delhi, and didn't want a Maharajah Mac (like a Big Mac but made with lamb).