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Natter 76: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Foaminess  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


WindSparrow - Mar 02, 2019 5:12:07 pm PST #5531 of 30019
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

Congrats, Scrappy!


Amy - Mar 02, 2019 5:17:20 pm PST #5532 of 30019
Because books.

I'm so sorry, WindSparrow. He was incredibly loved.

Gud, my heart goes out to you. At this point I am not at all sure how to convey support and love to you in a way that would be most meaningful to you. I wish I did, because you deserve to be lifted up by people who care about you. You deserve kindness. It is not selfish to want to relax after a busy day like you have had. You deserve rest and relaxation too.

Exactly what WindSparrow said. Exactly. Sending you love, and if it would help, sending your wife love, too, in the hope that she can find help for herself.


-t - Mar 02, 2019 5:22:32 pm PST #5533 of 30019
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

Also, I've been nonstop busy all day and I really just want to relax for a bit, which probably makes me as selfish as she says I am.

It absolutely positively does not.


Kate P. - Mar 02, 2019 5:29:44 pm PST #5534 of 30019
That's the pain / That cuts a straight line down through the heart / We call it love

Gud, there is no way on God's green earth that any rational person would call you selfish for wanting a little time to relax after a busy day. No fucking way.

If you really are feeling like you want to end your life, I echo what Steph said about a therapist, but in the moment, there are also a number of hotlines you can call. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline's number is 800-273-8255.


askye - Mar 02, 2019 5:41:52 pm PST #5535 of 30019
Thrive to spite them

You are not selfish Gud. Your wife is acting selfish and cruel and has been for a long time. Your son seems to be especially suffering from her actions. Please, please talk to a therapist.


chrismg - Mar 02, 2019 5:47:00 pm PST #5536 of 30019
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

Gud, I don't usually comment on personal issues, but I want to urge you as strongly as I can to take a step back and look at this objectively. There is one person who has spent all day doing things for their family, and one who has cut themselves off and done nothing. The one who should recognize their selfishness and feel guilty is NOT the one who spent all day contributing.

The parts of our brain meant to feel empathy for others and the urge to help can be hijacked both by our own illnesses and by hostile outsiders to keep us from recognizing the real work we've done for others.


shrift - Mar 02, 2019 6:48:46 pm PST #5537 of 30019
"You can't put a price on the joy of not giving a shit." -Zenkitty

All I've done today is cook, wash a load of towels, vacuum my apartment during a period break while watching hockey, and a quick trip to the grocery store. But I'm still relaxing and drinking a glass of wine. Is it selfish for me to do this even though I spent most of the day noodling around? No, because productivity isn't a requirement for my continued existence, which is something I have to keep telling myself.

I'm going to presume this happened at karaoke night when you were rocking out and head banging too close to the mic.

I'm not going to stop you if you think I'm living an exciting life or that I'd voluntarily engage in karaoke. The last time I was close to doing karaoke was years ago in New York when my work team rented a private karaoke room with buckets of beer. When pressed to sing, I cheerfully informed them that I was a grown-ass adult who didn't respond to peer pressure.

I hope the chipped tooth doesn't hurt too much, shrift!

Thanks. It doesn't really hurt unless I catch my tongue on the snaggletooth.


shrift - Mar 02, 2019 6:56:44 pm PST #5538 of 30019
"You can't put a price on the joy of not giving a shit." -Zenkitty

Ooh, just folded and put away the towels, AND washed the pan that's been sitting in the sink most of the week.

Also: congrats, Scrappy!


Consuela - Mar 02, 2019 7:04:04 pm PST #5539 of 30019
We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse. -- Pix

Gud, please please please listen to the Buffistas who care about you. We've known you for years: we are not strangers. We know you do not deserve this treatment, and you need to learn to convince your brain that you are worthy.

IT IS OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP.

Please please get help. Call the hotline, find a local therapist, anything. It will help you, it will help your children.


Katerina Bee - Mar 02, 2019 9:12:42 pm PST #5540 of 30019
Herding cats for fun

Why is that helicopter flying around and around over my house? I hope this doesn't mean a grisly Accident on the 880 that I will have to read about in the morning.