Congrats, Scrappy!

I'm so sorry, WindSparrow. He was incredibly loved.

Gud, my heart goes out to you. At this point I am not at all sure how to convey support and love to you in a way that would be most meaningful to you. I wish I did, because you deserve to be lifted up by people who care about you. You deserve kindness. It is not selfish to want to relax after a busy day like you have had. You deserve rest and relaxation too.

Exactly what WindSparrow said. Exactly. Sending you love, and if it would help, sending your wife love, too, in the hope that she can find help for herself.

Also, I've been nonstop busy all day and I really just want to relax for a bit, which probably makes me as selfish as she says I am.

It absolutely positively does not.

Gud, there is no way on God's green earth that any rational person would call you selfish for wanting a little time to relax after a busy day. No fucking way.

If you really are feeling like you want to end your life, I echo what Steph said about a therapist, but in the moment, there are also a number of hotlines you can call. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline's number is 800-273-8255.

You are not selfish Gud. Your wife is acting selfish and cruel and has been for a long time. Your son seems to be especially suffering from her actions. Please, please talk to a therapist.

Gud, I don't usually comment on personal issues, but I want to urge you as strongly as I can to take a step back and look at this objectively. There is one person who has spent all day doing things for their family, and one who has cut themselves off and done nothing. The one who should recognize their selfishness and feel guilty is NOT the one who spent all day contributing.

The parts of our brain meant to feel empathy for others and the urge to help can be hijacked both by our own illnesses and by hostile outsiders to keep us from recognizing the real work we've done for others.

All I've done today is cook, wash a load of towels, vacuum my apartment during a period break while watching hockey, and a quick trip to the grocery store. But I'm still relaxing and drinking a glass of wine. Is it selfish for me to do this even though I spent most of the day noodling around? No, because productivity isn't a requirement for my continued existence, which is something I have to keep telling myself.

I'm going to presume this happened at karaoke night when you were rocking out and head banging too close to the mic.

I'm not going to stop you if you think I'm living an exciting life or that I'd voluntarily engage in karaoke. The last time I was close to doing karaoke was years ago in New York when my work team rented a private karaoke room with buckets of beer. When pressed to sing, I cheerfully informed them that I was a grown-ass adult who didn't respond to peer pressure.

I hope the chipped tooth doesn't hurt too much, shrift!

Thanks. It doesn't really hurt unless I catch my tongue on the snaggletooth.

Ooh, just folded and put away the towels, AND washed the pan that's been sitting in the sink most of the week.

Also: congrats, Scrappy!

Gud, please please please listen to the Buffistas who care about you. We've known you for years: we are not strangers. We know you do not deserve this treatment, and you need to learn to convince your brain that you are worthy.

IT IS OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP.

Please please get help. Call the hotline, find a local therapist, anything. It will help you, it will help your children.

Why is that helicopter flying around and around over my house? I hope this doesn't mean a grisly Accident on the 880 that I will have to read about in the morning.