Yeah, that's hard, askye. Protect yourself as best you can.

We had one of the residents go into an extended crying session today when she found out the little resident kitchen on the first floor wasn't stocking snacks or juice any more (don't want to encourage them to congregate -- I think it's wrong, but it's above my pay grade).

It wasn't one of those angry meltdowns, more like the last straw in a world gone strange and awful. The Wellness staffers were on it and ended up calling in one of her kids to talk and calm her down.

Me, I'm pro-snacks for all residents, it gives them back a little control over a slice of their lives at a time when comfort is hard to find.

askye, I'm sorry that it is working out like this. I really think you might consider going to your Mom or your Dad if work doesn't start up again. Taking a pause with Matthew's family (if it was just the two of you, that would be a different thing) might be needed.

I, too, would like to hear from Gud. I expect the work he does can mostly be WFH, it's just his family that may be freaking out, particularly his wife's counseling business, and how the kids are coping with school screwed up.

Because the professor's email would get to you if you're dead, but hers wouldn't?

The transition to online learning has so far not be an easy one. Part of it is the sheer volume of material that is being uploaded then streamed. My community college has turned out to be far better at it than the university. That may be partly because they do more of it normally, so the tools needed have been integrated in a much more transparent way than the university even though it's the same tools in the same state system. I spent a couple of hours today trying to get get my screencasts to stream at the uni instead of getting vague error messages. It had taken me all of about 5 minutes to do the same job at the CC.

I'm sorry you are in the middle of that, askye! Sounds miserable.

A lot of this depends on work I really really don't want to actually go to either of my parents because I don't want to expose them to anything at all. But I also don't want to drive from SC to FL to stay at the beach where there is no internet (although I would take my phone) and deal with getting food and having limited things to do .

I've been feeling like I shouldn't have moved in with Matthew and now I feel trapped, it's too far away to move back in with mom and work in Greenville (roughly 1.5 hours one way drive from her house to the store) and I can't transfer back to the other store (no open positions) and jobs are hard to find anywhere. I do love Matthew and there are some great things about us but he isn't motivated enough to change. I feel like when we met we were both more in the same place and I just moved on past that quickly. I'm not sure what to do or how to do it.

and because my real life has always been so isolated and devoid of support people it's not like I have any kind of support or know someone I can go crash with for awhile or something like that. One thing I wanted to do this year was get my credit card debt back under control so I could have a few more options but now I can only control myself and do the best I can and figure out from there.

I think these coconut caramel Oreos were the smartest decision I made today.

Oh, askye. What an incredibly difficult place to be in, physically and emotionally. I'm so sorry you're wrestling with all this.

Oh, askye, that's so hard.

It's not new thoughts and I was looking forward to being in the men's shoes because it really meant that I could get ahead financially and maybe not be able to afford a place on my own but have some kind of options'

I'm not miserable but there are things I want and a kind of interaction and relationship I would like to have/way I want my life to be that I don't think will happen in this relationship and I have to make some decisions. I also don't want to start over but "can I be happy enough" is also not what I want.

There is a lot of good things and I know I bring my own stuff and issues it's just I'm not sure how much the good things is going to out weigh the not so good stuff in the long run

"can I be happy enough"

I know you can't do anything now, but do not settle for this. Take it from someone who did; it wasn't worth it. This isn't the good kind of compromise.

So much love to you.