Oh, askye. What an incredibly difficult place to be in, physically and emotionally. I'm so sorry you're wrestling with all this.

Oh, askye, that's so hard.

It's not new thoughts and I was looking forward to being in the men's shoes because it really meant that I could get ahead financially and maybe not be able to afford a place on my own but have some kind of options'

I'm not miserable but there are things I want and a kind of interaction and relationship I would like to have/way I want my life to be that I don't think will happen in this relationship and I have to make some decisions. I also don't want to start over but "can I be happy enough" is also not what I want.

There is a lot of good things and I know I bring my own stuff and issues it's just I'm not sure how much the good things is going to out weigh the not so good stuff in the long run

"can I be happy enough"

I know you can't do anything now, but do not settle for this. Take it from someone who did; it wasn't worth it. This isn't the good kind of compromise.

So much love to you.

Thanks Maria.

I did this with my last relationship , except then I was trying to be ok with being unhappy until things were supposed to get better (and they never would have) .

I just , even though I haven't been in therapy I've grown and changed so much and as much as I wish I wasn't in this predicament now I think overall the last year has been really good for me in terms of my self confidence and feelings of self worth. And also I h have a living situation that provides a lot of daily support which in turn has reduced my stress levels.

I don't know what steps to take and I'm not sure when I can take them or how to figure out what to do , at least right now, but I'll get through it.

askye, I am so sorry. The situation is stressful as is and this does not help.

Lots of love. You deserve happiness and comfort and good, trustworthy people around you.

We all do.

First, ((((askye))))

Second, for what it may be worth, it can take time to get out of a difficult (impossible?) situation. Taking time to plan helped me deal with an impossible present (because I knew there was a time limit) and also made the transition to the new situation less bumpy.

Finally, one of the side benefits of working from home. My desk is at a window overlooking the dog walking area. So I get to see my attractive neighbors walking their dogs. Like the guy that carries his basset hound up the stairs back into the building.

(((Askye)))

My university's transition to distance learning has been a lot of work. But we have a smaller branch of the university in China that went online a month earlier, and we were able to learn a fair bit from that. And it's a fairly well off, private institution, so we were able to throw money at some issues, like upping the server space for the learning management system. The endowment is probably taking a hit with the market woes, so moving forward, we might not be able to do that as much.

Like the guy that carries his basset hound up the stairs back into the building.

Aww. My home office has my desk in the window overlooking the park. Everyone who has a dog walks by, and the day is filled with kids playing, and yoga classes, and so forth. It is relaxing. The park is "closed" as far as the city is concerned, but that just means people can't park on the inside lot, but there is plenty of parking spaces outside the gate and it is walking distance for many.

I just , even though I haven't been in therapy I've grown and changed so much and as much as I wish I wasn't in this predicament now I think overall the last year has been really good for me in terms of my self confidence and feelings of self worth. And also I h have a living situation that provides a lot of daily support which in turn has reduced my stress levels.

It's great that you can see all these sides of things.

I woke up early enough this morning that I actually went for a good walk! I should have gone further, but I do feel better, after being mostly in the house yesterday. Most of my walking over the past week or whatever has been with my mother, so not fast or long enough to really be satisfying. Now I can see if she wants to go for another walk later and feel good about it. Phew.