I'm sorry you are in the middle of that, askye! Sounds miserable.

A lot of this depends on work I really really don't want to actually go to either of my parents because I don't want to expose them to anything at all. But I also don't want to drive from SC to FL to stay at the beach where there is no internet (although I would take my phone) and deal with getting food and having limited things to do .

I've been feeling like I shouldn't have moved in with Matthew and now I feel trapped, it's too far away to move back in with mom and work in Greenville (roughly 1.5 hours one way drive from her house to the store) and I can't transfer back to the other store (no open positions) and jobs are hard to find anywhere. I do love Matthew and there are some great things about us but he isn't motivated enough to change. I feel like when we met we were both more in the same place and I just moved on past that quickly. I'm not sure what to do or how to do it.

and because my real life has always been so isolated and devoid of support people it's not like I have any kind of support or know someone I can go crash with for awhile or something like that. One thing I wanted to do this year was get my credit card debt back under control so I could have a few more options but now I can only control myself and do the best I can and figure out from there.

I think these coconut caramel Oreos were the smartest decision I made today.

Oh, askye. What an incredibly difficult place to be in, physically and emotionally. I'm so sorry you're wrestling with all this.

Oh, askye, that's so hard.

It's not new thoughts and I was looking forward to being in the men's shoes because it really meant that I could get ahead financially and maybe not be able to afford a place on my own but have some kind of options'

I'm not miserable but there are things I want and a kind of interaction and relationship I would like to have/way I want my life to be that I don't think will happen in this relationship and I have to make some decisions. I also don't want to start over but "can I be happy enough" is also not what I want.

There is a lot of good things and I know I bring my own stuff and issues it's just I'm not sure how much the good things is going to out weigh the not so good stuff in the long run

"can I be happy enough"

I know you can't do anything now, but do not settle for this. Take it from someone who did; it wasn't worth it. This isn't the good kind of compromise.

So much love to you.

Thanks Maria.

I did this with my last relationship , except then I was trying to be ok with being unhappy until things were supposed to get better (and they never would have) .

I just , even though I haven't been in therapy I've grown and changed so much and as much as I wish I wasn't in this predicament now I think overall the last year has been really good for me in terms of my self confidence and feelings of self worth. And also I h have a living situation that provides a lot of daily support which in turn has reduced my stress levels.

I don't know what steps to take and I'm not sure when I can take them or how to figure out what to do , at least right now, but I'll get through it.

askye, I am so sorry. The situation is stressful as is and this does not help.

Lots of love. You deserve happiness and comfort and good, trustworthy people around you.

We all do.

First, ((((askye))))

Second, for what it may be worth, it can take time to get out of a difficult (impossible?) situation. Taking time to plan helped me deal with an impossible present (because I knew there was a time limit) and also made the transition to the new situation less bumpy.

Finally, one of the side benefits of working from home. My desk is at a window overlooking the dog walking area. So I get to see my attractive neighbors walking their dogs. Like the guy that carries his basset hound up the stairs back into the building.