Gud, you don't seem to hear us when we say, over and over again, that your wife is abusive and you need therapy. Why don't you hear us, when we have all been saying the same thing?
Are you waiting for one of us to agree with your abusive wife? Because that is NEVER going to happen. NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. She is abusing you.
How many times do we need to say that every bit of abuse your wife heaps on you is evil and wrong? How many times do we need to say that how she treats you is not normal? How many times do we need to say that this is not your fault, that none of this is your fault? How many times do we need to urge you to please please PLEASE see a therapist?
Gud, if your wife could text you she could have reported the outage. I honestly don't understand why that would be your responsibility to do from your job; it's completely unreasonable.
You did not fail at anything.
Your wife is ridiculous, Gud. She's presumably a functional human being. She can report a power outage herself.
If your wife can text you to call about the power outage then she can call the power company her OWN DAMN SELF.
You are not a fuck up.
YOUR WIFE IS ABUSING YOU.
You will never be able to do anything right because SHE WON'T LET YOU. IF you had immediately answered the phone when she texted she would have found some other reason to be mad because she is AN ABUSER and this is what abusive people do.
Gud, first, what was said above. If your wife could text you, she could also report the outage. Take it from someone who's been there.
Second, once again, GET HELP! I enjoy road trips. And I've started seeing someone who may enjoy road trips even more than I do. And we live near I-70, so there's a fairly direct route to your city. Do I have to drive out there and drag you to a counselor?
Because emotional abuse can be hard to pinpoint, it is important to look for patterns of behaviors that could indicate abuse.
Criticism. Unrelenting criticism of what you say or do with a specific intention to display power.
Shame and blame. Sometimes emotional abuse manifests as incessant blaming and shaming for anything and everything. And, this goes two ways. Abusers may deflect blame or their responsibility for any hurtful actions, leaving the survivor feeling like they are the one at fault (read: gaslighting)
Threats. Threatening in emotionally abusive relationships often happens two ways: threatening physical harm and threatening you to do something you do not want to do.
Control. Emotional abusers may control your finances in an attempt to force you to stay in an abusive relationship. (Sad fact: survivors often cite financial manipulation as a primary reason they stay with an abusive partner.)
Crisis Text Line can help you deal with emotional abuse, whether you're in an abusive relationship or recovering from an unhealthy situation. Text a Crisis Counselor at 741741, or use the mobile text button below to text from your phone.
Therapy hasn't been very helpful and costs too much. I feel like I shouldn't have said anything, sorry. I shouldn't just vent.
So you've been in therapy? How long?
Did the therapists echo any of what we have been saying.
Your company has an EAP, that should not cost anything.
Also, you are worth any cost, Gud! But, yes, take advantage of your company's EAP!
