If your wife can text you to call about the power outage then she can call the power company her OWN DAMN SELF.

You are not a fuck up.

YOUR WIFE IS ABUSING YOU.

You will never be able to do anything right because SHE WON'T LET YOU. IF you had immediately answered the phone when she texted she would have found some other reason to be mad because she is AN ABUSER and this is what abusive people do.

Gud, first, what was said above. If your wife could text you, she could also report the outage. Take it from someone who's been there.

Second, once again, GET HELP! I enjoy road trips. And I've started seeing someone who may enjoy road trips even more than I do. And we live near I-70, so there's a fairly direct route to your city. Do I have to drive out there and drag you to a counselor?

Because emotional abuse can be hard to pinpoint, it is important to look for patterns of behaviors that could indicate abuse.

Criticism. Unrelenting criticism of what you say or do with a specific intention to display power.

Shame and blame. Sometimes emotional abuse manifests as incessant blaming and shaming for anything and everything. And, this goes two ways. Abusers may deflect blame or their responsibility for any hurtful actions, leaving the survivor feeling like they are the one at fault (read: gaslighting)

Threats. Threatening in emotionally abusive relationships often happens two ways: threatening physical harm and threatening you to do something you do not want to do.

Control. Emotional abusers may control your finances in an attempt to force you to stay in an abusive relationship. (Sad fact: survivors often cite financial manipulation as a primary reason they stay with an abusive partner.)

Crisis Text Line can help you deal with emotional abuse, whether you're in an abusive relationship or recovering from an unhealthy situation. Text a Crisis Counselor at 741741, or use the mobile text button below to text from your phone.

Therapy hasn't been very helpful and costs too much. I feel like I shouldn't have said anything, sorry. I shouldn't just vent.

So you've been in therapy? How long?

Did the therapists echo any of what we have been saying.

Your company has an EAP, that should not cost anything.

Also, you are worth any cost, Gud! But, yes, take advantage of your company's EAP!

Of course you can vent. But we'll disagree with you when you say unkind things about yourself, because they're not true.

And you wouldn't stand for a friend being self-abusive.

Saying this gently, Gud, but you also have to do the work when you're in therapy. You need to listen to what the therapist tells you, and act on what you learn.

We love you and we're happy to have you vent here whenever you like. That's what we all do! But we're also going to keep trying to help you understand that you are not a failure.