Jesus fucking CHRIST my dad just told me that he thinks there's some sort of critter living in his box spring, but not only that -- he thinks it's been there for 3 or 4 MONTHS. And I have no idea how much of that is opioid-induced hallucinating,* and how likely it is that there's a mouse/squirrel/freaking chupacabra living IN HIS BOX SPRING.
I think today might have been the first time I've ever said "WHAT THE FUCK????" to him (he's not a big fan of swearing, and, y'know, he's my dad, so I lay off around him). But I think if anything calls for WHAT THE FUCK, it's the idea of a goddamn woodchuck or whatever living IN HIS BOX SPRING.
I feel like I shouldn't have had to tell him to call a motherfucking exterminator.
*(He takes such high doses of oxycodone for his chronic pain that he is totally tripping balls every night. So the odds that this is a hallucination are probably high. But even so, it's worth having an exterminator check it out to confirm that there is no capybara IN HIS BED. Or if there is, to get it the fuck out of there.)
My brain hurts now.
These poppers are not for sale at Chili's.
rotflmao
at your pain
I've never been brave enough to try to cook with hot peppers. I know myself; I'd rub my eye or something.
Steph, I don't know which one to hope for: that your dad is tripping the light fantastic hopped up on goofballs, or that there really is a friendly capybara in his box spring.
Hallucinatory ROUS ~ma to your dad.
Steph, I don't know which one to hope for: that your dad is tripping the light fantastic hopped up on goofballs
It HAS to be this, because I can't fathom just being fine with a critter in your box spring for 3 or 4 minutes, let alone 3 or 4 months. Holy shit, man.
Although a friendly capybara might be nice.
SNAIL ACQUIRED!!! I do not have photographioc evidence because he(she? ze?) immediately disappeared behind the plant as soon as I got it in the water. I'm hoping it will be visible at some point.
Also got my flu shot, no waiting. And a burrito, very little waiting. Chipotle did not have lime slices to add to my drink, is there a lime shortage?
That is an impressive story, Hec! I feel like you should get some kind of badge or certificate of recognition for that.
I don't know what to say about your dad's possible roommate, Tep. Yikes
SNAIL ACQUIRED!!!
My week is now complete!
I don't know what to say about your dad's possible roommate, Tep. Yikes
My brother and I have just spent the last 5 minutes texting WHAT THE FUCK back and forth to each other. We decided that Dad needs an exterminator to come in and say "Sir, in my professional opinion as an exterminator...you are tripping balls HARD."
The dreaded jalapeno nards!
Great punk band name.
I am getting a little excited about the people coming to help, but still so nervous about the price
Your friends will help with the price. We promise.
It'll be SO incredibly relieving to clean everything out.
In other news: I finished a task that I was late in doing! Now it is done.
On to the other onerous tasks...
YAY SNAIL!
I'm going to split the different on Steph's dad and suggest maybe there is a chipmunk in the walls or attic or something, but the goofballs are confusing the issue.
I'm going to split the different on Steph's dad and suggest maybe there is a chipmunk in the walls or attic or something, but the goofballs are confusing the issue.
I can live with that outcome as well. Still needs an exterminator, but not as WHAT THE FUCK of a scenario as a chupacabra being in his box spring for 3-4 months.
