What ND said!

The only thing I'd add, is that it is key to choose to feel treasured

One thing that made feel that everything with Hubby was worth it was when I overheard him saying to someone else, "My wife is the smartest person I know." I was never sure if he had any respect for me, so that meant a lot.

Edit: And, of course, it didn't hurt that I was the one he called to for backup on an SCA battlefield. Not every woman may get a thrill from being counted on to cover someone's back in battle, but there were a lot of reasons we fit together.

That's lovely, Connie.

Not every woman may get a thrill from being counted on to cover someone's back in battle, but there were a lot of reasons we fit together.

I mean, yeah. That's pretty awesome.

I have now eaten lunch, reviewed my presentation for the hearing, and asked another pro to take a look at it. Next up - psych self for telling client project won't be done before hearing. Also, decide whether to go to shop with helper for a couple of hours or work on business plan.

Take the time you need to figure it out. There's no rush here. You're not stuck. You won't get trapped.

Trudy is smart.

Liese, I am sorry that to make things smoother for someone else, you sacrificed some of your own needs. That sucks so much, even if it was the right thing to do.

One thing that made feel that everything with Hubby was worth it was when I overheard him saying to someone else, "My wife is the smartest person I know." I was never sure if he had any respect for me, so that meant a lot.

Edit: And, of course, it didn't hurt that I was the one he called to for backup on an SCA battlefield. Not every woman may get a thrill from being counted on to cover someone's back in battle, but there were a lot of reasons we fit together.

That really is awesome. And, the crux of it all is that you needed to believe him in order for his respect and trust to have meaning to you. No one can make us believe stuff like that.

The greatest gift my husband gave me was that he never felt sorry for me. Not in a cold way, but in a 'Yep. That happened. Now, this is what we are going to do' sort of way. Had I not believed him, that is was possible to survive, I'd be dead right now.

People can give us the very best of gifts, but they are meaningless until we accept them.

PS: I wish I'd done SCA. I think I'd have been fierce in battle.

Not in a great headspace today. I'm a ball of "fuckitallup." Communication is not going well with anyone, but I am reading and absorbing.

I was in the same place concerning how on earth do you walk out on a sick spouse? I couldn't, but I didn't even get the respect. I was just an ATM. I've made my peace with that but it can still make me sad at times.

I wish I'd done SCA. I think I'd have been fierce in battle.

There's a whole different feel to it when you get on the battlefield.

I've made my peace with that but it can still make me sad at times.

On the whole, I have been fucking lucky. We always said it was a good thing we married each other, because it saved us ruining the lives of two other perfectly nice people who didn't deserve what would happen to them.

I've been reading along and sending supportive vibes in my lurky way (~love you guys~). But I wanted make sure to come in here and mention that I received a remarkably timely Valentine's Day card yesterday. Thank you msbelle, you gave me a smile when I really needed one!

I'm beginning to realize how much anger I've held on to and squashed down . Anger not directed at anyone just circumstances and it feels ...wrong to express it because it feels like that just means I'm stuck. But I can't get unstuck until I deal with it. I have to keepnremimding myself that if I deal with it there will be room for other things inside.