She looked at me and said, "Oh honey, no. You take advice from a stuffed rabbit. You're crazy. It's just that he's never given you bad advice, and he won't". Which is why she was my therapist.

This is beautiful.

As is this:

My general advice on sizing up a potential companion for this life is how they make you feel about yourself. I could say a lot more, but the other person has to make you feel treasured.

The only thing I'd add, is that it is key to choose to feel treasured. Not knowing what it feels like to be satisfied can really get in the way of appreciating what you get. I'm not talking about lowering standards or compromising, but about having an end result in mind so that you know when you've achieved it!

I was not going to be one of those people who abandons a spouse when they get sick

This was the stance I had to take with my father at the end of his life. And I said these exact words, "I would not leave a dog in the street." But, and thankfully, I realized that the heroic measures I took were for me. It helped to not be as resentful and I really wanted to be.

Okay. Now to try and schedule the rest of my day. BLERGH.

Agghhh. I'm in a similar state, for different reasons.

Strength and patience, my sister! I wish you good choices.

Since I'm stuck on my couch rather than protesting, I really ought to grade stuff. (One of my students is complaining that the entire reason he didn't do as well as he'd wanted to on the last exam was because I hadn't graded his old homeworks yet. Homework each week is about ten problems that aren't turned in, which I give full solutions for, and two problems that are turned in. He's complaining about not having grades for those two problems, and that this is the sole reason why he didn't do well enough on the exam. He was also pestering me a lot before the exam, because he was leaving the country and wanted to take the exam early, and simply would not accept that I would not have the exam written a week before the regular exam date.)

Having another bout of "why am I doing this, I can't do this, I don't want to do this" about my business.

So much going on, and I'm not discounting anything else, just that I can speak so directly to this. That's part of having a business, there are incredible highs, and some pretty rough lows. I do honestly believe that you can do this. It's going to be hard at times, but I predict that in the long run there are going to be some pretty amazing highs.

What ND said!

The only thing I'd add, is that it is key to choose to feel treasured

One thing that made feel that everything with Hubby was worth it was when I overheard him saying to someone else, "My wife is the smartest person I know." I was never sure if he had any respect for me, so that meant a lot.

Edit: And, of course, it didn't hurt that I was the one he called to for backup on an SCA battlefield. Not every woman may get a thrill from being counted on to cover someone's back in battle, but there were a lot of reasons we fit together.

That's lovely, Connie.

Not every woman may get a thrill from being counted on to cover someone's back in battle, but there were a lot of reasons we fit together.

I mean, yeah. That's pretty awesome.

I have now eaten lunch, reviewed my presentation for the hearing, and asked another pro to take a look at it. Next up - psych self for telling client project won't be done before hearing. Also, decide whether to go to shop with helper for a couple of hours or work on business plan.

Take the time you need to figure it out. There's no rush here. You're not stuck. You won't get trapped.

Trudy is smart.

Liese, I am sorry that to make things smoother for someone else, you sacrificed some of your own needs. That sucks so much, even if it was the right thing to do.

One thing that made feel that everything with Hubby was worth it was when I overheard him saying to someone else, "My wife is the smartest person I know." I was never sure if he had any respect for me, so that meant a lot.

Edit: And, of course, it didn't hurt that I was the one he called to for backup on an SCA battlefield. Not every woman may get a thrill from being counted on to cover someone's back in battle, but there were a lot of reasons we fit together.

That really is awesome. And, the crux of it all is that you needed to believe him in order for his respect and trust to have meaning to you. No one can make us believe stuff like that.

The greatest gift my husband gave me was that he never felt sorry for me. Not in a cold way, but in a 'Yep. That happened. Now, this is what we are going to do' sort of way. Had I not believed him, that is was possible to survive, I'd be dead right now.

People can give us the very best of gifts, but they are meaningless until we accept them.

PS: I wish I'd done SCA. I think I'd have been fierce in battle.