Omg I went through that a couple of times but I am now well and truly on the other side. Still a little panicky even saying that.

And I have the worst cramps I've had in decades. Nothing seems to help and right now I feel like I have stabbing pains. And I want to die. Luckily I have tomorrow off and I can stay curled up with this weighted cat shaped heating pad I have

I went nine months then got it.

Then I went thirteen months and got it.

In both instances, there was the faint possibility I would get laid and I feel this somehow rallied the Hormone Troops... "Alright, boys*, I know its been a while but we got ONE EGG left in storage! Its dusty and dented, but boy-howdy I think it can work! We're going over the top with this bastard! We're going to ruin Trudy's weekend and or/create an actual bastard! Whaddaya say, boys*? WHOO AHHHH

(*no woman would do this to me)

I wish that, whenever it stops, whether that one in April was it or not(Very little about my life has been that...uncomplicated, but maybe I'm due, right?) that I felt like it would reduce my bodily-embarrassment level by more than say 10%. I doubt that being period-free will even do that, much less that whole Margaret Mead post-menopausal zest thing that gives you all these new passions and energy. But maybe I'm just confused from having the world's longest retirement.

I have had the worst cramps as well. Dull pain in my lower back alternating with sharp stabbing pains along my front. And then just ugh. M kept asking me if took any meds . Yes I did. They really didn't help. And he was like "maybe if you get up and move around "

The only thing that helped was my kitty cat weighed heating pad thing.

My flow is really heavy and I'm just over all of this.

I know I'm feeling estranged from a lot of things lately, except for feeling like a real American cause I hate my job sometimes, but I watched "Thirst Trap" yesterday, about this fandom of women losing their damn minds about some Tik-Tok tenderoni(Paramount is totally horning on netfix's "I can't believe it's not a documentary" turf--pun not intended but I'll leave it...dude's cute, but come on, he vamps when he lip-syncs. That's it.) I missed that whole phenomenon somehow. Anyway, thanks for not letting my first forays into fandom get nightmarish like that.(doxing, plunging into someone's divorce, shunning.) Of course, young dude made it worse: he slept with one of them.

Man, next time something converges on Glendale like Kirk fandom, I hope Buffy comes, too. To clean up the mess.