And I have the worst cramps I've had in decades. Nothing seems to help and right now I feel like I have stabbing pains. And I want to die. Luckily I have tomorrow off and I can stay curled up with this weighted cat shaped heating pad I have

I went nine months then got it.

Then I went thirteen months and got it.

In both instances, there was the faint possibility I would get laid and I feel this somehow rallied the Hormone Troops... "Alright, boys*, I know its been a while but we got ONE EGG left in storage! Its dusty and dented, but boy-howdy I think it can work! We're going over the top with this bastard! We're going to ruin Trudy's weekend and or/create an actual bastard! Whaddaya say, boys*? WHOO AHHHH

(*no woman would do this to me)

I wish that, whenever it stops, whether that one in April was it or not(Very little about my life has been that...uncomplicated, but maybe I'm due, right?) that I felt like it would reduce my bodily-embarrassment level by more than say 10%. I doubt that being period-free will even do that, much less that whole Margaret Mead post-menopausal zest thing that gives you all these new passions and energy. But maybe I'm just confused from having the world's longest retirement.

I have had the worst cramps as well. Dull pain in my lower back alternating with sharp stabbing pains along my front. And then just ugh. M kept asking me if took any meds . Yes I did. They really didn't help. And he was like "maybe if you get up and move around "

The only thing that helped was my kitty cat weighed heating pad thing.

My flow is really heavy and I'm just over all of this.

I know I'm feeling estranged from a lot of things lately, except for feeling like a real American cause I hate my job sometimes, but I watched "Thirst Trap" yesterday, about this fandom of women losing their damn minds about some Tik-Tok tenderoni(Paramount is totally horning on netfix's "I can't believe it's not a documentary" turf--pun not intended but I'll leave it...dude's cute, but come on, he vamps when he lip-syncs. That's it.) I missed that whole phenomenon somehow. Anyway, thanks for not letting my first forays into fandom get nightmarish like that.(doxing, plunging into someone's divorce, shunning.) Of course, young dude made it worse: he slept with one of them.

Man, next time something converges on Glendale like Kirk fandom, I hope Buffy comes, too. To clean up the mess.

I actually looked pretty to myself in the mirror in my cut and color, but I guess life is keeping me from being "SO BRAVE!1" and posting it...dreamwidth shut me out. I guess it's not just my bad attitude keeping me from motivational nano-stardom.

You should totally post it with this as the caption. (Once you can)

You mean take a pic? and I wear makeup even less often than current Pam Anderson so there ought to be a medal of honor in it at least. (Kidding, obviously. I think a lot of the coverage of, like, "Real Beauty" misses the point, though, at least for me...the point is not to never wear it again, although I have sensitive skin and have to be careful about what I put on it, so it's kind of an event thing, and it's been too long between events.) But my point is that it should be about choice, and fun and the conscious parts of illusions, and I don't think it's some big lie if the red carpet and Ralph's don't look the same--I'm not *that* much like Bernie Sanders!

Maybe we will know we're finally equal when a female pol could have the same so-little-style-it's-a style like Bernie does, but that could be some time, to put that mildly.