I can't form a narrative at the moment but it's been too long since I told you all I love you and I'm glad you're in my life

Back at ya, Laga.

Momentary pity party. Today, I think, is my 2nd grandchild's 1st birthday. I wasn't told a date. I've never seen him except on other people's FB pages. I haven't seen the 3-year-old since before he could crawl. It sucks. Maybe this year things will change. There is nothing more I can do to make that happen. I'll still send Gabriel happy birthday thoughts and snoop on the internet in hopes of catching pictures somewhere.

I have cousins I've never met....not that that's the same, but it's weird. Estrangement's not unusual for the larger J clan, though. unfortunately.

I'm sorry, Laura. That's heartbreaking. And honestly bewildering to us who know how awesome and big-hearted you are. I hope your son and his DW come around really, really soon. {{{Laura & Brendon}}}

Thank you. I sent him a gentle text yesterday to acknowledge the day, but no response. I'll continue from time to time to reach out, but it adds another stab of pain when I get no response.

Laura, I just am so sorry you and B are being put through this. I am always holding and will continue to hold hope and send positive waves for change in their hearts and minds. So much love to you.

Yes, absolutely. I hope they work through whatever they need to. Um, was hoping for more of segue, I guess, but am I the only one who has f2f dreams? I had another one last night. Most of the time, a better feeling than a dream about, you know, losing a post, or e-mailing something you think you might need to take back. (Have had a few of those. All they make me think is that sometimes, however self-righteously crafted, the "Touch grass," people have a point, now and then.) Even if they don't really understand they are creating another Project for me, and I hate that. Anyway... maybe my sleeping brain just longs for spectacle, or its home planet. Thoughts?

I just got news that a (relatively) recent crush - that transitioned to friends when it was clear the romance was going nowhere - passed away last month. Obviously, we hadn't been that close lately or I would have heard before a month had passed - but I'm still knocked for a loop. He was only 57, and NOT diagnosed with cancer like some of us. How can he be gone? I'm stunned. I have a couple of photos still on my phone that I took stealthily in a Home Depot that looked exactly like him + 20 years. I joked with him that it was Patrick from the future who came back to visit (and buy hardware supplies). Guess he won't be coming back now...

I'm sorry, Epic. It does hit in a different and disconcerting way when one of our peers is lost, with added discomfort when you don't have answers.

Epic, I'm so sorry. That is way too young.

Oh, Epic, I'm so sorry. Too much death.