Ha!

I'm in a quandary and want some advice - apologies in advance for the length. Youngest son (2nd grade) was not doing well with virtual school at all. We pulled him to home school a couple of months ago. We knew that would be hit or miss and were kind of like, whatever. His/my therapist (yes I see a child psych and I LOVE HER SO MUCH) suggested a home schooling pod run by someone she loves. I looked into it and it seems like a really perfect fit for him. They specialize in kids with issues (my kid has extreme anxiety) and they currently have 5 kids (from two families, who have been bubbled as they live near each other and each lost a family member to cancer within the last year). They have 2 teachers and currently one teaches a 7yo (another boy), and the other teaches the kids who are older. So, son would be in a 1 to 2 ratio with a teacher. I feel like he needs this so much and it will give us insight into where he struggles and how we can best support him moving forward. The issue? We are nervous about sending him with the COVID numbers continuing to spike. We've been pretty locked down since March so this feels like a big exposure/risk. They do take temperatures and only kids are allowed inside (no parents) and seem like they are being responsible. Still, I worry. What would you do?

Glam, are the kids masking or distancing or anything like that? Are they testing regularly? Do you know the other parents at all, or would you feel OK asking about how strict/careful they're being outside of school hours? Are you seeing anyone else (like grandparents) that you could potentially infect?

I would probably send him, but I absolutely understand your hesitation and worry. I think a lot would depend on how much you feel you can trust the other parents.

Our school (where I teach and both kids attend) has been in-person for months, with lots of strict safety measures in place, and we haven't yet had a case of in-school transmission, for what that's worth.

They are taking precautions but I'm not sure what all that entails so I'm sending over an email to get that info. I don't know the families, but my/my son's therapist does and she loves them (I respect her opinion and she is taking COVID seriously so that's a good sign). It's so hard balancing between physical safety (not getting COVID) and emotional wellness (school and socializing). I think we'll likely do it, but I'm super nervous about it and my wife would like to push it out. Ugh.

And absolutely no judgement for anyone who has sent their kids back to school/daycare/etc for whatever reason. We recognize that we are in a privileged position to be able to keep them home.

It sounds like it's more or less the least-bad option available. Can you talk to the parents about "community norms" around risky behavior.

We've had to make the decision to send Oliver back to school (blended, part in-person, part virtual) because they are failing. I honestly feel like the biggest community spread isn't necessarily inside the schools but what families decide to do outside.

Owen is going all-online for the rest of the year, but it will be a more structured program of online participation.

Looking back, I wish I had pulled them out completely and home-schooled, but I don't think I could have pulled it off with both of us working.

Of course all of this is going to happen at the end of January--so we'll see what the fallout is after the holidays. Everything could change. The point of all of it is that you have to be prepared to make changes and adapt to the situation on the ground and do what's best for you family. I wish more people had the flexibility and resources to do that.

I’ve had ltc back in school this year because both her mental health and my own mental health were really suffering after 6 months of being home together. I worry every day that I made the wrong decision, but it seemed to be the least bad option.

There is just no perfect answer. We're probably going to send him and have that be the only COVID risk we are taking. I feel like if we don't, he'll have to repeat second grade and while that's certainly not the end of the world, I know it would make him spiral. Fucking COVID, fucking Trump, fucking 2020.

That seems entirely reasonable to me, Glam. Good luck -- I hope it's a good fit for him.