{{{Steph}}} I'm sorry. Much ~am for your brother. He's lucky to have you.
Willow: Yikes. Imagine the things...Buffy: No! Stop imagining! All of you! Xander: Already got the visual.
'Dirty Girls'
Spike's Bitches 49: As usual, I'm here to help you, and I... are you naked under there?
Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
sj - Nov 13, 2019 6:44:57 am PST #6530 of 8213
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Topic!Cindy - Nov 13, 2019 6:55:47 am PST #6531 of 8213
What is even happening?
Teppy, love to you and your brother.
Good things:
You didn't catch him; he chose to come clean.
He chose to call you.
He chose to tell his wife.
He has a disease which impairs his judgment about the disease, but it seems he is still healthy enough to know he needs take steps to counteract that and he's started taking those steps.
His sober friend will be a good resource to help him as he reclaims his sobriety. Your brother knows that, and he called that sober friend (instead of choosing to avoid him).
Has he been one to go to AA meetings? Is he going to go to a meeting?
(Not pushing it. I know AA isn't for everyone, but a lot of people will do 90 meetings in 90 days after a slip.)
You weren't stupid. You were hopeful.
Steph L. - Nov 13, 2019 7:02:02 am PST #6532 of 8213
I look more rad than Lutheranism
Has he been one to go to AA meetings? Is he going to go to a meeting?
He doesn't go to AA meetings. He really doesn't like them. He does have an excellent therapist, who he's been seeing since his relapse in 2016.
Laura - Nov 13, 2019 7:25:19 am PST #6533 of 8213
Our wings are not tired.
{{Teppy and Bro}} No doubt he is massively disappointed in himself, but he needs to be proud that he has reached out to the people who will hold him accountable. It's hard to slip the way he has, but it sounds like he and you are making the right moves to set things straight.
Sophia Brooks - Nov 13, 2019 7:26:08 am PST #6534 of 8213
Cats to become a rabbit should gather immediately now here
Much love to you and your brother, Teppy
Topic!Cindy - Nov 13, 2019 7:45:34 am PST #6535 of 8213
What is even happening?
He doesn't go to AA meetings. He really doesn't like them. He does have an excellent therapist, who he's been seeing since his relapse in 2016.
And he's in touch with the therapist. It sounds like he's doing everything to correct course. Telling you (who wouldn't know unless/until things blew up) and his wife, from whom he could conceivably hide it if he got totally off everything by the weekend, is really promising. It sounds like he wants to get and stay sober in a very real way.
Try to breathe. You're doing what you can do. It's hard to be an accountability partner, but your brother even welcomed that. Love to you.
meara - Nov 13, 2019 7:45:59 am PST #6536 of 8213
Ugh that sounds so hard, Teppy. Def sounds like he's doing better than the last time, and hopefully his therapist can dig into what made him relapse now, but yikes. Good luck to you, and to him.
Steph L. - Nov 13, 2019 7:49:44 am PST #6537 of 8213
I look more rad than Lutheranism
First call update: he and the friend who came over were getting ready to take the dog for a walk, so he'll call me back in half an hour or so. A walk sounds good. When I was out there in 2016, he literally couldn't leave the house, even to take the dog out to pee, for 2 days.
So he really does seem to be in a better place this time. But it's still freaking my shit out hard. I'm having a really hard time concentrating on work.
I'm going to throw a load of towels in the laundry and make lunch. I think I need to accept that my concentration is going to be shitty today.
Amy - Nov 13, 2019 8:18:36 am PST #6538 of 8213
Because books.
Aw, Tep, I'm sorry. That's a lot. But I agree with what Cindy said, and it sounds like your brother is doing all the right things right now, which is promising.
Happy birthday, Hil!
amyparker - Nov 13, 2019 8:29:22 am PST #6539 of 8213
You've got friends to have good times with. When you need to share the trauma of a badly-written book with someone, that's when you go to family.
Tep, hey, of course you're freaked. The last time this happened, it was bad, and you're afraid for him. Give yourself permission to say "Welp, this is not gonna be a good detail day" and put what focus you've got on broader-stroke things like the laundry and dishes.
Hil, happy birthday!