Hi Java cat!

So sorry, Laura. What a difficult thing to struggle with for all of you.

Laura all I can say is that your son (both of them, of course) are so incredibly lucky to have you and Brendan as parents. Much love to you.

Thank you for the love and support. I am frustrated with him today. (understatement) I was picking him up at 9:30 to take him to find out about getting a schedule where he used to work. He messaged me at 4AM to come later because he was watching esports finals until late. I picked him up at 10:30. Took him to workplace, but apparently he isn't actually employed there anymore. The ride to and from was filled with him being miserable and filled with excuses. Then he doesn't see why he can't just work for me. Long story, more him being miserable and giving excuses. Then as I dropped him off I let him know that I found out about the OD. Told him medical staff told me and then I found the details on his "friend's" FB page. Friend I don't mind him being mad at, and he would find it abnormal for me to know the medical staff. After I dropped him I sent him a letter I wrote him yesterday detailing my concerns. Detailed my priority list of 1) getting him physically and mentally healthy, 2) getting him employable and 3) clearing his legal issues (another long story).

I'll see how he responds. I know he read it.

{{Laura}}

{{{Laura }}}

The way you are handling all this seems sensible.

So much ~ma and strength to you and your family, Laura.

Laura, I think you're doing an incredible job handling a situation which must seem impossible sometimes. Love to you all.

Laura, you're going through a lot. Please don't forget to take care of yourself.

I also have a couple of ideas to toss out for your son. I don't know whether he would be receptive. But it sounds like he may be realizing that something is wrong, even dreadfully wrong. If he doesn't want professional help, might he accept semi-professional or amateur help?

I joined two support groups after my breakdown, and they've been enormously helpful as I navigated all of the changes last year. No credentialed professionals -- just people who have been there. Both groups actively discourage telling people what they should do. (As a facilitator of one group says, "Nobody likes to be 'should' upon.") Rather, the emphasis is talking about our experiences and what did or didn't work for us.

A peer counselor might also be an option. A peer counselor goes through a short training period. But the peer counselor's main credential is Having Been There, not being the doctor that gives orders from on high.

Thank you, Fred. The one thing I am doing is taking care of myself. Through this I have managed to 100% stick to the torture system my nutritionist has me following for a month. No coffee, no tea, no wine, no grains, no CHEESE, and just about anything else fun. No matter what I get my sleep. As I tell DH often, it is the only thing I have control over in this life, so I am going to get/stay healthy.

I am trying to get him to get help, but it was a rough weekend. He found out he wasn't employed where he thought he was employed, and that led to tough conversations and him backtracking. He has now latched onto very bad influence girlfriend in a major way. One of his roommates is very active in peer counseling and mental health issues and she has really tried to reach him. She is the one who gave him CPR and saved his life.

I'm very discouraged at the moment. I wrote to him on Saturday expressing my concerns clearly, stressing him getting healthy, and I haven't heard from him since. His FB page and that of the GF are very upsetting. I'm afraid he has to fall hard which will end up either in jail or the hospital, but not really under my control.