{{Laura}}

{{{Laura }}}

The way you are handling all this seems sensible.

So much ~ma and strength to you and your family, Laura.

Laura, I think you're doing an incredible job handling a situation which must seem impossible sometimes. Love to you all.

Laura, you're going through a lot. Please don't forget to take care of yourself.

I also have a couple of ideas to toss out for your son. I don't know whether he would be receptive. But it sounds like he may be realizing that something is wrong, even dreadfully wrong. If he doesn't want professional help, might he accept semi-professional or amateur help?

I joined two support groups after my breakdown, and they've been enormously helpful as I navigated all of the changes last year. No credentialed professionals -- just people who have been there. Both groups actively discourage telling people what they should do. (As a facilitator of one group says, "Nobody likes to be 'should' upon.") Rather, the emphasis is talking about our experiences and what did or didn't work for us.

A peer counselor might also be an option. A peer counselor goes through a short training period. But the peer counselor's main credential is Having Been There, not being the doctor that gives orders from on high.

Thank you, Fred. The one thing I am doing is taking care of myself. Through this I have managed to 100% stick to the torture system my nutritionist has me following for a month. No coffee, no tea, no wine, no grains, no CHEESE, and just about anything else fun. No matter what I get my sleep. As I tell DH often, it is the only thing I have control over in this life, so I am going to get/stay healthy.

I am trying to get him to get help, but it was a rough weekend. He found out he wasn't employed where he thought he was employed, and that led to tough conversations and him backtracking. He has now latched onto very bad influence girlfriend in a major way. One of his roommates is very active in peer counseling and mental health issues and she has really tried to reach him. She is the one who gave him CPR and saved his life.

I'm very discouraged at the moment. I wrote to him on Saturday expressing my concerns clearly, stressing him getting healthy, and I haven't heard from him since. His FB page and that of the GF are very upsetting. I'm afraid he has to fall hard which will end up either in jail or the hospital, but not really under my control.

Laura I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this I hope that your son will make even a small change that will start him on a new path.

Matthew's mom lives in Iowa I think. The house we are living in is now hers (and his dad's)and she wants to move back here. And in with us. She is on disability and has complicated mental health issues and can be erratic. Because of that I don't feel comfortable living with her. Also she wants Matthew to come and driver her down in like 2 weeks.

We talked and he is going to tell his mom if she wants to do this he will get her but it won't be until we can move and his car is fixed.

To make things more complicated Matthew works for his brother "informally" so on paper our income is less than what it is. We also don't have a 5 year rental history because of not actually renting places for the past five years but he has lived here and I've lived with mom for most of that time.

We also have 3 cats.

The good news is we can afford a place the problem is going to be finding a place with the cats and having a reasonable time frame.

Also his mom could change her mind. Repeatedly.

I'm sorry, askye. Having things up in the air so much is very stressful.

askye, I'm sorry. It is stressful and difficult.