Steph, give yourself a fucking break! You deserve it! Life events of the unplanned variety always trump the ones of the planned ilk. Any adult knows this. If your friends don't get it, they will get over it.

Jessica, smite that asshole to dust!

Hil, glad you saw WW.

As someone that tries to plan things so person x can be there - say I can't go this time. The reason I plan things around someone - is because they have the hard schedule. But , no matter how disappointed I am that someone can't make it, shit happens.

I have horrid things going on at work. Admin bullshit - that had me in tears yesterday. So far I am going forward with a everything. but I said yes to one thing next weekend -and I am still thinking of doing a last minute Fuck it - and running away for the weekend

The only thing you have to do - is say so sorry , I can't make it- if you feel like it - you have two good excuses- but really - you don't need them

Why not say you are terribly sorry, but due to the Great Pants Crisis of 2017, the calendar has become fracked and is no longer cromulent.

Tep, you have had so much shit hitting multiple fans that just saying up front, hey, I know I thought I could make this, but we've had one crisis too many and I am exhausted and just can't right now seems more than reasonable.

And if they push back? FUCK THOSE GUYS.

beth, sorry to hear about work being a bear. I hope you can de-stress yourself.

Steph, your mom just had major open heart surgery. Anyone else who insists on your social presence and personal energy for the next month is an asshat and needs to STFU.

Steph, give yourself a fucking break! You deserve it! Life events of the unplanned variety always trump the ones of the planned ilk. Any adult knows this. If your friends don't get it, they will get over it.

Jessica, smite that asshole to dust!

Hil, glad you saw WW.

What quester and others have said. I am just catching up here.

In Tallahassee for a b-ball tournament. 57 teams from all over so there are lots and lots of teens and coaches and so forth all over the place. I haven't gone to any of the games because I am just dedicated to relaxing. I have read a bunch, and swam. Now awaiting a friend to pick me up who I haven't seen in years.

Do I feel guilty that DH's team had 3 games yesterday and another 3 today and I am not doing a team mom thing? Maybe, but it isn't altering my relaxation plans, because I know I need the down time. Self care for the win!

Strix, all the ~ma for D's family.

Tep, as an introvert with soc anx, I empathize entirely. That sounds wholly overwhelming. I've had to learn to try to balance letting go of feeling so fucking shitty when I have to renege on a social engagement and pushing my comfort levels so that I do go out and engage with people & that I don't isolate myself.

It's really hard. And I've really come to know that some people are truly good friends that accept me and are helpful in negotiating this balancing act with honesty, and some aren't. And that friendships change, and the ones worth expending emotional energy on are the ones who will meet you halfway, and that IT IS OK to accept that you need to downgrade relationships when they and you have changed.

It doesn't FEEL great, and it's ok to mourn that, but it's your right to feel supported and to take care of yourself, because the way you feel is important and valid, and saying "No" EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN EXTERIOR REASON BEYOND I TRULY CANNOT DEAL is OK. Just "I can't" is reason enough in and of itself, and it's ok to loosen or break ties with people who can't support this, and (oh, this sounds so twee, but I do mean it) the facets of your healing journey.

Strix, tons of ~ma for you and yours. I'm so sorry.

Sending TCG with ltc to get her haircut while I stay home and take a bath in a quiet house is quite possibly the best idea I have ever had.