Then I watch as my toddler destroys the house.

Which people know, and should understand.

I hope so. I'm going to be finding cheerios at different corners of my house until ltc goes off to college.

Steph, of course you feel stressed and overwhelmed! That's a lot of stuff!

Can you prioritize some, and decide which things are most important, and which ones would be OK with a "Sorry I can't make it, but happy birthday, and here's a funny e-card!"?

Hil is right on this, and I'm going to add that it's not a case of "can you prioritize some", but that you need to. And hell, don't be shy about inventing a sudden migraine that means you need to stay home. You need to look after yourself.

(I was about to write "You need to look after yourself, so you can look after others" , but remembered that this is a mindset my therapist is trying to break me of.)

I think this is one of those "Stop being mean to my friend Teppy" situations. As others have said, not being selfish. It's hard to be there for others if you can't put your own oxygen mask on first. And I have so been there on the "I just want a fucking weekend with NOTHING SCHEDULED." Because it's not being self-involved, and it's not crazy. It's self-care, and it's important. Can you take a sick day from work or something like that, just a day where you put out the "closed...leave me the fuck alone or I will cut a bitch." sign?

Steph, what Debet said. Is it possible to get out of anything by claiming a 24-hour bug? (Just to be clear -- Actually catching a 24-hour bug is not necessary here.)

Find a bug with a 24-hour life span. You have your 24-hour bug.

Yeah, if a friend told me they couldn't come to my party because they were exhausted and super stressed from whatever their situation might be, I would think, "Oh man, that's a lot for Friend to handle! I hope she gets through it all OK." I can pretty much promise you I would not think to myself, "What an unreasonable bitca." Wishing you some down time soon, Teppy.

I hope so. I'm going to be finding cheerios at different corners of my house until ltc goes off to college.

I'd suggest getting a dog, but that would really just exchange one issue for another.

Yeah, if a friend told me they couldn't come to my party because they were exhausted and super stressed from whatever their situation might be, I would think, "Oh man, that's a lot for Friend to handle! I hope she gets through it all OK." I can pretty much promise you I would not think to myself, "What an unreasonable bitca."

I don't know, I just feel like people who are all "We picked the date of the party so you could be here since you missed the last party" are not going to be cool about me missing again unless I'm actively on fire or something. And why do they care so much if *I'm* there, anyway? It's a party! Where there are MANY people. One person shouldn't matter.

And, seriously, picking your party date around someone else's schedule sounds like a nice thing to do, but right now it feels like crushing pressure. Like "I did this FOR YOU and now you OWE ME." Why the shit do they care? Other people will be there!

If this person really wants to see you maybe they could suggest a low key one on one type thing. Or say they'd like to that even your life calms down and if that doesn't happen for a few months it's ok.