I think this is one of those "Stop being mean to my friend Teppy" situations. As others have said, not being selfish. It's hard to be there for others if you can't put your own oxygen mask on first. And I have so been there on the "I just want a fucking weekend with NOTHING SCHEDULED." Because it's not being self-involved, and it's not crazy. It's self-care, and it's important. Can you take a sick day from work or something like that, just a day where you put out the "closed...leave me the fuck alone or I will cut a bitch." sign?

Steph, what Debet said. Is it possible to get out of anything by claiming a 24-hour bug? (Just to be clear -- Actually catching a 24-hour bug is not necessary here.)

Find a bug with a 24-hour life span. You have your 24-hour bug.

Yeah, if a friend told me they couldn't come to my party because they were exhausted and super stressed from whatever their situation might be, I would think, "Oh man, that's a lot for Friend to handle! I hope she gets through it all OK." I can pretty much promise you I would not think to myself, "What an unreasonable bitca." Wishing you some down time soon, Teppy.

I hope so. I'm going to be finding cheerios at different corners of my house until ltc goes off to college.

I'd suggest getting a dog, but that would really just exchange one issue for another.

Yeah, if a friend told me they couldn't come to my party because they were exhausted and super stressed from whatever their situation might be, I would think, "Oh man, that's a lot for Friend to handle! I hope she gets through it all OK." I can pretty much promise you I would not think to myself, "What an unreasonable bitca."

I don't know, I just feel like people who are all "We picked the date of the party so you could be here since you missed the last party" are not going to be cool about me missing again unless I'm actively on fire or something. And why do they care so much if *I'm* there, anyway? It's a party! Where there are MANY people. One person shouldn't matter.

And, seriously, picking your party date around someone else's schedule sounds like a nice thing to do, but right now it feels like crushing pressure. Like "I did this FOR YOU and now you OWE ME." Why the shit do they care? Other people will be there!

If this person really wants to see you maybe they could suggest a low key one on one type thing. Or say they'd like to that even your life calms down and if that doesn't happen for a few months it's ok.

are not going to be cool about me missing again unless I'm actively on fire or something.

I think I speak for all of us when I say I will totally vouch for your being on fire if it comes to that.

Shitty Other Dad has officially canceled the playdate. Naturally this is all my fault because I am a bitch who takes sides and he is a blameless victim. (Did I say blameless victim? I meant spineless assberet. Oh my God fuck this guy.)

That dude needs to grow up. Seriously is screwed up to hurt your kids over this.

I feel terrible for D, but I feel even worse for the other kid, who is a sweet generous soul, being actively and deliberately taught how to be a bully by an adult who should fucking know better.

Also, I will have to monitor D's email usage even more closely now that I know SOD has his address. It sucks that he has to learn How To Block People On Social Media this young.