And WOW, does this make me feel like Permit Patty. The family is black, and I *really* hesitated to call the police, because I don't want to be the catalyst of more racist behavior on the part of LEOs. (The police officer is white; he got here quickly and was very personable. [edit: Very personable to ME, Whitey McWhiterson.] He's over at Garbage Mom's house now.)

But I also can't stand by while children (they're 5, 6, and 12 -- she beat a 5-year-old girl on the bare legs with a leather belt) are physically abused in front of me. I will not. I don't care if Garbage Mom is pissed.

Good for you, Teppy!

Even if it were the first time you witnessed the abuse it would be right to call, but this is far from the first instance.

You are not Permit Patty. She beat them with a belt. Nope.

Even if it were the first time you witnessed the abuse it would be right to call, but this is far from the first instance.

Yeah, I called the time I witnessed her kicking her son through the front door into the house after dragging him up the steps. And I felt like Permit Patty then, too.

Well, no. I don't feel like Permit Patty, because I know that what Garbage Mom is doing is fucking WRONG. But I *do* worry about contributing to a situation where shitty racist behavior happens because I called the police on a black family, even though it was for legitimately wrong behavior. I just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best, and this country fucking sucks when I have to hope that the police don't do something horrific when they're supposed to be protecting these kids. (AFAIK, it all turned out fine. I didn't hear any commotion, and the police officer is gone. After he talked to me, as he was crossing the street to Garbage Mom's house, he and I could both hear -- from behind the closed front door -- Garbage Mom yelling and swearing at the top of her lungs. And I thought, yeah, I made the right call here.)

I made that same call once, for a black man hitting what looked a 4-year-old repeatedly with a belt, in public. The police said it was a cultural difference and didn't come. I was floored.

I was once accused of racism against some Latinx neighbors because I objected to them leaving their (neatly wrapped) garbage in the hallway.

I know I would feel the same way, Steph, but beating children is not the same as a permit or camping or sleeping, there is an actual danger to young humans. We shouldn't call the police for idiotic things, but the police should also be able to figure out what is idiotic and rascist, and the lack of that ability shouldn't make us not call 911 for real danger. I really warred with myself when I found a black homeless man at the bus stop passed out/dead. I made up my mind I would try to rouse him, and if he didn't rouse I would call. I thankfully was able to rouse him. But I hope if he was unable to wake up and I called, it wouldn't have gone badly. I couldn't just let him die, though. Your only other choices were confronting the mom yourself, which would be dangerous or just letting it go, which would also haunt you.

I grew up in a small town, and I would not hesitate to call there. It makes me sad that it is because, among other thing, we are all white. And I am probably going to know the police officer and their family and they will know us. And they probably will be respectful. And I am sad that is partially because of white privilege, but the police need to be fixed so they treat everyone the way they treat me. I can't stop calling for truly dangerous situations

but the police should also be able to figure out what is idiotic and rascist,

Honestly they have not been good at making this call.

but the police should also be able to figure out what is idiotic and rascist,

Honestly they have not been good at making this call.

Right? Our police department hasn't stumbled into killing black people (Sam Dubose was killed by a University of Cincinnati public safety officer, not Cincinnati PD), and based on my very limited interactions with them, they seem fine. But I am SUPER white and educated, so of course they seem fine to me.

I definitely wrestled with calling the police, but in the end, the kids' welfare won out. The little girls are only 5 and 6, for god's sake. My parents didn't physically abuse me, but they were horrible in the verbal/emotional abuse sense. And so I will not stand by and let kids be abused -- in any manner -- if I have the ability to do something.

The sad thing is that I'm sure the visit from the police office today had zero effect on Garbage Mom.