Quester, that is sucky and totally not your fault.

Hi, Trudy!

A half hour ago I looked at the clock convinced it was 11:30 and it was only 10:30. TCG's first day back at work after a long weekend is always such a long day.

I don't know what to say, except that I am with Quester in the Family Ignoring You boat.

In my case religion is a big reason. I am a Bad Influence even when I stay home keeping off Facebook with my mouth shut. They know I Might Say Something... Might hurt the children by being myself.

I've decided selfishness and narcissism drives their choices and it's never been about me.

I do get lonely, even though I've got used to my exclusion.

Quester, have you ever straight out told them that you'd like to be included more? They may not know. Of course, they may know and just be jerks. But I find it's always best not to assume motive, even with those one is closest to.

Oh, quester, I'm so sorry. If you take the initiative in making plans, are they responsive?

I haven't talked to them because bringing it up hurts too much. I thought that just the fact that I chose to move to the town my brother and one of my sisters live in would have told them.

I was included for a few months but then gradually, less and less until I wasn't ever called or asked. Now, I will get an occasional, out of the blue invitation, but that's all.

I mean, they were there when I needed help, but in between, when I just would like to hang, they are too busy with their families.

I have this terrible feeling that I'm lumped together with my 2 older sisters as the weird old, maiden aunts that no one talks about. Thing is, I don't enjoy hanging with my 2 older sisters myself. But, I can't control how they think of me.

I'm too poor to make plans to do things. I can't afford gifts for the little ones. I have no craft outlet to make things. I just feel useless and not adding to anything.

It's hurting just to write this.

Oh, quester, I'm so sorry. Family can be so hard, and so confusing. I'm sorry you're hurting.

((Hair pats and hugs)) we like you though.

I'm sorry, quester. It really does suck. I hope that trying to communicate your desire to spend time with them helps. They may think you don't want to be included. Family communication is so often whack.

The whole family balance thing is tricky. I've tried to be extra nice and sociable with family and friends that I dumped from FB during the election. We do a lot of talking about sports.

Not that I think you should have to buy kids things, but dollar stores are really wonderful for getting a little something for kids. You can get little four packs of bubbles that can be split amongst the kids, crayons, coloring books, and sidewalk chalk. And the kids love that stuff.

Hell, kids of a certain age would love an empty box. ;-)