Steph and Tom and Monti I wish you had parents that were as fantastic as you guys are.

I am still reeling from the emotional sucker punch from last week's therapy. I'm glad I have therapy this week before we leave for vacation, because maybe it'll help me get it together so I don't freak out Tim's family by spending the entire week just weeping on the beach.

This really sucks so much.

Oh Teppy, I am so sorry this is such hard work. Remember when you are on vacation with Tim that he is your family now. The two of you creating new happy memories. Yes, you have to deal with the historical, but it is just that, history. Your chosen family, of which we are a part, is what nurtures you now. I'm sorry your parents did a crap job at the nurturing, but you have control now to choose how you are going to be treated and valued. Hugs from a safe virtual distance!

Steph and Tom, my brother and sister in therapy, I'm dealing with similar things myself. The anger I'm finally allowing myself to feel isn't even as hard as, what feels like, grieving the person I might have become if my parents had been even halfway decent at being parents. I wish for all of us to realize that we became wonderful, worthwhile people in spite of them.

I wish for all of us to realize that we became wonderful, worthwhile people in spite of them.

Could not have said it better.

DH's parents were completely incompetent and clueless. They weren't cruel or abusive by many definitions, but they were totally self absorbed and either oblivious to the general rules of parenthood, or just didn't care. Dad was an alcoholic and mom may have originally defined enabler. ALL 4 kids are the most responsible hard working capable adults ever. They had to raise themselves. They had to pay the electric bill when the parents didn't. They had to figure out how to feed themselves, cloth themselves and get to adulthood. All 4 kids excelled in school, have been continuously gainfully employed since they were kids, and are just plain reliable.

This isn't the only time I have seen it work out this way. One thing I know for sure, with my inlaws and with so many others I have seen rise above their beginnings, Parents Do Not Define You.

Amen, Laura.

What Laura and Zenkitty said.

Sometimes parents are good examples, and sometimes they are cautionary tales. I have enormous respect for the children of bad parents who decide that they are going to do things differently.

Brief pity party, then I am putting it behind me. Bobby & Tate will have ~150 people at their wedding. Lots of Holts, and her family, and since they both grew up here lots of friends and business people. DH has several cousins in Nebraska flying in, and his sister went through an outrageous ordeal to get time off in July from being a new NYC public bus driver. All his siblings, aunts and uncles and cousins. Tons of Tate's family. My family, zero. I am the lone Miller. None of my sibs, my step-dad, cousins. None. There is this that and the other reason, but none. Let's just say there is a good reason we create our own families.

Blah blah, reasoncakes. My family is mostly in NY and the wedding is in July in Florida. My 2 sibs in FL have health issues. And, I am done. I have too much to do to wallow. And, I am going to have a blast dancing every dance at my son's wedding.

Laura, I would feel the same way. But you are going to have SUCH a great time at the wedding, and I can't wait to hear stories and see pictures from it.