If I'm going to keep sleeping on cat-schedule, I'm going to need more hours in the day to get everything done. I propose we abolish Monday and add four more hours to each remaining day.

I'd just like to note that I'm annoyed that personal growth isn't a one-and-done kind of thing, but an ongoing process.

Backstory: my dad is going that thing where, after he gets out of the hospital, he calls me every day (generally multiple times a day) to tell me about every ache, pain, and bowel movement (not an exaggeration, sadly, because I wish I could un-hear those conversations).

And I forgot my therapist's most mind-blowing piece of advice, which was: I don't have to answer the phone. I can just let it go to voicemail and return the call(s) when I'm ready.

I'm definitely backsliding a little bit, because I feel kind of guilty for not being my dad's on-demand emotional support. But, you know, he's an adult who can talk to other people, and even find his own therapist WHO IS NOT ME.

So the next time he calls (he's already called me twice today STOP CALLING ME), I'm going to let it go to voicemail. (Although when I return his calls, he always asks, "Where were you when I called?" EVERY. TIME. STOP BEING SUCH AM EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE DAD IT IS GROSS.)

Anyway. Woo, personal growth.

I'm sorry. Also feeling gratitude that Mom hated the phone. She did however announce to us when she had a bowel movement because it was often a cause for celebration and we would cheer. Not over the phone though.

"Where were you when I called?"

That would get a brisk "none of your fucking business!" from me. I do not like to be monitored.

"Where were you when I called?"

That would get a brisk "none of your fucking business!" from me. I do not like to be monitored.

He's so goddamn needy. I cannot abide it. I've actually started answering "where were you when I called?" with "Sorry I missed you; what's up?" Because NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS DAD.

And I forgot my therapist's most mind-blowing piece of advice, which was: I don't have to answer the phone. I can just let it go to voicemail and return the call(s) when I'm ready.

You and I need to form a support group. Hubs calls me at work repeatedly (at least 5 times today, and that's just on my cell phone), usually over things that can wait until I get home or longer.

I offer my favorite lines from the movie version of Barefoot in the Park. It's Paul's (Robert Redford) first day back at work after his honeymoon with Corie (Jane Fonda), and when he gets home it's

Corie: Did you miss me?
Paul: How could I? You called me seven times.

I love that movie. And yeah, that line is all too relatable.

Tep, we should hook your dad up with my emotionally needy, draining MiL.

Steph's father -- Glam's MiL -- my husband --

One more, and they can play bridge.

"Sorry I missed you, what's up" is a perfect response!!