I say win, sj.

And now I want ice cream.

My client left the key for me as usual this morning but forgot to turn off the alarm, so that was some excitement. She was in a PT session but eventually called to give me the code. The cops showed up forty minutes later (oh, NOLA) but since I am a NWL and was continuing to work calmly outside and could show them a key (though they did not check that it worked), they just went on their way.

So that was my little bit of morning excitement.

Ha. Did I ever mention the time, maybe last Christmas, when my parents went to church in the morning and turned the alarm on out of habit? So that when husband and I got up, it triggered the motion sensors?

Alarms are really loud.

Is this normal? Do people help their fellow man while also being FULL OF HULK RAGE? Because my attitude is roughly "I will help you BUT I AM SO ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU MOTHERFUCKER DO NOT EVEN LOOK AT ME."

IME, yes,totally normal.

Sounds like a win to me, sj.

So much to sigh about on that smonster. Glad it wasn't more of a hassle for you.

Is this normal? Do people help their fellow man while also being FULL OF HULK RAGE? Because my attitude is roughly "I will help you BUT I AM SO ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU MOTHERFUCKER DO NOT EVEN LOOK AT ME."

It is totally normal, and completely justified. Would it be possible for you to talk to Tim about how not!son needs to handle his own situation, and if he needs SOME help, Tim should be the one, not you? And by "possible for you to talk to Tim", I mean possible without it making you even more full of Hulk rage?

I realized I needed lunch before I could take a walk. So I'm eating lunch while I'm raging.

Would it be possible for you to talk to Tim about how not!son needs to handle his own situation, and if he needs SOME help, Tim should be the one, not you?

We have talked about it, and Tim is on board with it. The enabling is all coming from me. I come from a family of addicts. Enabling is second nature to me. But it is self-serving, too, because if I find him a homeless shelter, it gets not!son out of my goddamn driveway and house.

Enabling is second nature to me.

My sister?

But it is self-serving, too

Whatever gets you peace of mind the fastest is what I'm in support of.

Yes, what Jilli said. IMHO Finding him a homeless shelter seems like a less problematic activity than letting him continue to sleep on your couch or in your driveway or whatever.

For the love of God. not!son doesn't want to go to the shelter tomorrow because he "can't handle" the communal sleeping arrangement, where there's a ton of beds in one room. He said it triggers his anxiety really badly. And while I obviously get how awful anxiety is, the alternative is SLEEPING IN HIS CAR IN NOVEMBER IN OHIO. Sometimes you have to suck it up and push through, especially when the alternative is sleeping in your car in November in Ohio, holy forking shirtballs.

The shelter is a really good program, with 3 hot meals a day and a bed and toiletries and laundry and social services AND medical services he could use, and he's turning it down. This program works really hard to get people jobs and into transitional housing. This is ALL STUFF HE NEEDS.

The plan was that he would come here after work with Tim, I would make a vat of pasta and a tossed salad, etc., and he could crash on the couch one last time and then go to the shelter first thing in the morning. So I'm not going to starve him -- he's welcome to one last hot dinner. In fact, he can crash on the couch this one last time. He's already here. But after tonight, I am done. I wash my hands of this guy. This shelter could have really helped him, and he's turning it down. Jesus.

After I finish eating, I am retiring to the bedroom to edit and seethe.

It sounds like an example of the kind of bad decision-making that's led him to the point where he is right now in his life.

Pretty much.

I am now seething and editing (and browsing the interwebs) in the bedroom.