but the psychological act of taking time out to, I don't know, sit and space out and take time for myself and process whatever was going on with me, was much harder to give up,

Still find myself struggling with that 15+ years after quitting.

Suzuki, I would totally give you airline miles towards a 50th birthday in New Orleans, since I happen to know that that will be Mardi Gras weekend

but the psychological act of taking time out to, I don't know, sit and space out and take time for myself and process whatever was going on with me, was much harder to give up,

iStill find myself struggling with that 15+ years after quitting.

This is very much what I'm worried about. I know that I use a cigarette as a "time out" -- usually a break between different tasks, or just a few minutes to recharge by myself.

Aw, Suzi -- wedding plans! This time, with a good guy! I'm so happy for Kelly.

And what -t said about your birthday. The 50th is one to celebrate, and since I didn't, much, this year, I've decided that linear time is a lie indeed, and I'm going to try to splash out on something fun next year.

Try not to psych yourself out over it, Amy. You know it'll be a challenge, you can think of strategies to deal with it, but don't let it undermine you in advance. You can do it.

I would totally give you airline miles towards a 50th birthday in New Orleans, since I happen to know that that will be Mardi Gras weekend

Seriously? Are you still planning a New Orleans birthday trip too? Maybe we can team up???

know that I use a cigarette as a "time out" -- usually a break between different tasks, or just a few minutes to recharge by myself.

I seem to use my computer for that time out, although I am trying to change that to a walk around the block. I have a folder of shortcuts that are brief diversions, easy crosswords, sudoku, jigsaw, and of course checking the board! Diversion time out. But making a cup of tea is still a good one for me.

Seriously, Suzi. I am on the fence about going myself, a large part of me feels like planning the time off from work and care if the elderly animals is just too much at this time, but I would love to help get you there unequivocally!

-t, you are, as always, amazing! We can talk more elsewhere. Thank you. And it would be great if you were able to come too!!! But I get the work and animals thing too.

I seem to use my computer for that time out, although I am trying to change that to a walk around the block.

This is an excellent idea. I even use a smoke break as way to get up and sort of remove myself from my computer as a prelude to doing other things, but a walk around the block is a great idea.

You know it'll be a challenge, you can think of strategies to deal with it, but don't let it undermine you in advance.

Thanks, -t! I'm trying to be positive.

Went to see Doc this morning, and he must have just come out of a scolding with his own superiors last time, because he was remarkably mellow about things today. I've lost a bit of weight, my A1C is down a bit, the overall goal for where he wants my A1C to be is very achievable, and he's good with the revisions I made in my drug plan when life did not jive with his suggestions. And he didn't mentioned 30-grams-of-carbs-a-day people. So I can stop being quite so anxious about every bit that I eat, though mashed potatoes should still remain a former part of my life. Sad.

Weather's gorgeous, medical is on track, Hurricane Jose is petering out, Hurricane Maria is hooking out into the Atlantic. Life is good.