Two substitutes I used were making a cup of tea or brushing my teeth.

Making/drinking a cup of tea was HUGE for me in quitting smoking, 11 years ago, now. I found that the nicotine addiction wasn't that hard to kick, but the psychological act of taking time out to, I don't know, sit and space out and take time for myself and process whatever was going on with me, was much harder to give up, and sitting with a cup of tea was very satisfying in that regard.

That, and having a cigarette to use as a shield in bars because I was nervous. But once nobody was allowed to smoke in bars (and then I got old and started going to bed really early) that didn't matter anymore.

Kelly and her fiance recently shared their wedding plans. Originally they were going to wait until he was done with school, but his scholarships would remain even if he gets married, so that means they can do it sooner. The current plan is a courthouse ceremony with only direct family in late January and then a reception/party at a friend's house.

Years ago, when Kelly was engaged to the lying, cheating douchebag (pre-lying cheating douchebaggery discovery), we had bought her a lovely wedding dress. It has hung in my closet for the last 8 years. She wants to get it fitted and wear that, and her fiance is cool with it.

I love that they are doing this their way instead of doing performance art that neither of them really wants. They are on a budget and don't want to ask family for money. I'm going to pay for the dress alterations (she doesn't know that yet) and I'll talk with the reception friend about helping with stuff there.

All that being said, I kinda wish they had picked a different date. I turn 50 in early February and had wanted to travel somewhere for a long weekend in celebration (New Orleans, New York...) but that money is going to go toward the wedding instead. Which is my choice, so I'm 95% ok with that, but there is that small part that is sad I'm giving up the birthday trip.

Linear time is a lie! Take a trip for your 51st birthday!

But yeah, that's a little sad-making. Can you do something in town? Fancy spa? Restaurant you've always wanted to try? Spend the day in the movie theater?

but the psychological act of taking time out to, I don't know, sit and space out and take time for myself and process whatever was going on with me, was much harder to give up,

Still find myself struggling with that 15+ years after quitting.

Suzuki, I would totally give you airline miles towards a 50th birthday in New Orleans, since I happen to know that that will be Mardi Gras weekend

but the psychological act of taking time out to, I don't know, sit and space out and take time for myself and process whatever was going on with me, was much harder to give up,

iStill find myself struggling with that 15+ years after quitting.

This is very much what I'm worried about. I know that I use a cigarette as a "time out" -- usually a break between different tasks, or just a few minutes to recharge by myself.

Aw, Suzi -- wedding plans! This time, with a good guy! I'm so happy for Kelly.

And what -t said about your birthday. The 50th is one to celebrate, and since I didn't, much, this year, I've decided that linear time is a lie indeed, and I'm going to try to splash out on something fun next year.

Try not to psych yourself out over it, Amy. You know it'll be a challenge, you can think of strategies to deal with it, but don't let it undermine you in advance. You can do it.

I would totally give you airline miles towards a 50th birthday in New Orleans, since I happen to know that that will be Mardi Gras weekend

Seriously? Are you still planning a New Orleans birthday trip too? Maybe we can team up???

know that I use a cigarette as a "time out" -- usually a break between different tasks, or just a few minutes to recharge by myself.

I seem to use my computer for that time out, although I am trying to change that to a walk around the block. I have a folder of shortcuts that are brief diversions, easy crosswords, sudoku, jigsaw, and of course checking the board! Diversion time out. But making a cup of tea is still a good one for me.

Seriously, Suzi. I am on the fence about going myself, a large part of me feels like planning the time off from work and care if the elderly animals is just too much at this time, but I would love to help get you there unequivocally!