As for keeping therapy a secret--why?

Because she'll get involved and that tends to end badly.

Still getting tired really easily today. Had to take a nap this morning after just going out to get my wife breakfast and hitting up Lowe's get get furnace filters. Then just making up marinade for dinner, cutting up chicken and having lunch wiped me out and I needed an afternoon nap. About ready to take my son out to practice some driving and then make dinner when I get home. I'm hoping I have some after dinner energy left. In the gaps I've been working on software and ripping DVDs for my daughters birthday (the physical DVDs are the gift but she can't really watch them unless they are available on our network digitally). I hope this weakness stuff gets done with soon.

Cool about the Picard thing. That could be good.

I am sure you shouldn't have any household duties at all for at least several days after getting out of the hospital.

I am flailing all over the internet at the news that Patrick Stewart is doing a new Star Trek series ABOUT PICARD on the CBS streaming service.

I think this may be the thing that brings everyone I know together!

I have made ice cream! I mean, I hope I have -- it's still in the freezer. But what's in there is frigging delicious.

I hope this weakness stuff gets done with soon.

It will if you actually rest. Shopping, cooking, and other chores are not rest.

What they said.

R neglected to tell me that she got a call from the electrical power people that our power would be going out for at least two hours. It woul have been nice to know so I could have shut down my computer, power up my cellphone, et cetera. Who doesn't think to mention that as soon as they hear about it?

Well, see above re: possibly someone who is still wiped out from being in the hospital/worried about what comes next? But I agree it would have been better to tell you!

Yeah, she's not in the best mental state to start with. And it was evidently only 15 minutes from getting the phone call until the lights went out.

At least instead of being two hours, the outage only lasted about 15 minutes, and it was still light out, so I could find all the candles and matches and get them organized while I could still see.

Still annoyed. SIGH

Gud I am sorry, but I am furious at your wife. Fuck her. You just got out of the damned hospital. YOU SHOULD NOT BE GETTING HER BLOODY BREAKFAST.

Ahem. I know that there is profanity there but I'm furious.

SHE. IS. WRONG.

Gud, I just want you to really understand that we all love you and value you, and that we want you to feel better in all ways.

Gud, others have already said this, but I am going to say it again: having Asperger's Syndrome does not make you defective. It does mean that you experience some things differently from how neurotypical people expeience them. It means that you may have challenges expressing yourself in ways that get through to neurotypical people who are unaware of your communcation style and strengths, or worse, neurotypical people who are aware but refuse to be flexible enough to accept your style and strengths. People on the Spectrum are no more defective for not being neurotypical than barrel-chested Strong Men are defective for not having perfect swimmers' physiques. You have a wealth of excellent qualities, a depth of character, and soaring love and kindness. What the answer for you with regard to freeing yourself of these feelings of worthlessness is, I don't know. But I do know that your wife treating you like a shitty person - that problem is hers, regardless whether she is a hard-hearted abuser or not, she is the origin of the shittiness. That shittiness is not inherent to you. It is outside of you. The sooner you find a way to protect yourself from taking on that shittiness, the better for both of you. This is not something you can fix for your wife.

tl;dr Gud, you are an excellent person, one who does much good for others. You deserve care. You deserve kindness. If you do not take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of anyone else.

Gud, if a romantic partner treated one of your children the way your wife treats you, would you defend that partner as a good person, and your kid should just fo better, because they're "defective?"

You would not.

She's not good for you, she is not good for your kids. You're not misrepresenting her -- we have heard what she says and does and how fucking mean and selfish she is for over a decade.

She. Is. The. Problem.

Because. She. Abuses. You.

Constantly.

You all know my husband was in an abusive marriage. And I worked at 3 different domestic abuse shelters.

I am very comfortable saying, based on years of information from you, which you present pretty objectively, since she's got you trained to always take the blame for everything, that you are in an abusive relationship.

She is toxic AF, she is never going to treat you well, she does not want to change and you need to GTFO because she is killing you. If emotional abuse left physical wounds, she has broken every bone in your body twice, and told you to make her a fuckin' sandwich while you're still bleeding out.

She's got you convinced you deserve to feel shitty, and you don't. No one deserves this.

You don't deserve this.

She abused you. Constantly. For decades.