congrats, Scrappy

Yay, Sophia

I'm sorry, Gud. That sounds like a very difficult situation. It doesn't seem from here as if you are lazy or don't do much or are bad at doing stuff.

Tres cool, sarameg!

Gud, I suggest you make a poster for each member of the family and hang them on the wall. Underneath each person's name, write all the tasks they do. That way you can all actually see who does what. Maybe your son can cook once every couple of weeks, maybe your daughter adds vacuuming on Saturday before dinner to her list. Maybe your wife will see what you do and realize her expectations are off.

Gud, you are clearly constantly busy, so busy that you don't have time for yourself. I do not understand why you accept your wife's statements this way: she is wrong.

I do not understand why you accept your wife's statements this way: she is wrong.

Yeah this. Your wife is the problem, Gud. Not you. She's a problematic person.

Gud, I hate seeing how your wife treats you. That is not okay, and you deserve much better. You children shouldn't have to see their mother emotionally abusing their father. Your wife's behavior hurts your kids as much as it hurts you.

Gud, there's a lot of good advice given already. I'd like to add -- see a counselor. Someone who can give you perspective and help you form a longer-term plan.

Gud, I suggest you make a poster for each member of the family and hang them on the wall. Underneath each person's name, write all the tasks they do. That way you can all actually see who does what. Maybe your son can cook once every couple of weeks, maybe your daughter adds vacuuming on Saturday before dinner to her list. Maybe your wife will see what you do and realize her expectations are off.

I also wonder if that kind of thing might be helpful in starting a conversation about priorities. I'm not at all assuming this is true in your family, but I could imagine one partner caring more about neat and the other one caring more about clean, and if they don't talk about that explicitly, the one who is spending time "cleaning the house" isn't doing the stuff that the other person actually cares about and/or notices. To me that would be a sign that each person should do the bit they care about, but again, a conversation and agreement on priorities and wishes seems like a good starting place.

Gud, you deserve supportive love. Steph is absolutely right about the damage to your children in this. You deserve to be told every single day that you are awesome and appreciated and loved. Please don't settle for less. I know lazy people, it is incomprehensible for you to be described this way. Don't accept it! It is abusive and untrue.

In related news, I don't care that much about neat or clean, and I live alone, so. As a result, I'm pretty excited that friends are coming to stay with me in a couple of weeks, so I'll really need to get the house spic and span.