The highway is closed right now because of a police shooting, and we need to take that highway for a board meeting tonight (one I would vastly prefer to skip), so I emailed the board members to tell them about the highway being shut down and that if we're late, it's because we had to take a different route.
The chair of the board just called me to spend 10 minutes telling me different routes I could take, even though I kept interrupting and saying "We both have GPS on our phones and I'm sure we'll be fine". I said that like 5 times and she kept talking.
And I have an author emailing repeatedly saying she doesn't understand why the footnotes in her table are rearranged from the way she presented them (they weren't in alphabetical order, which I told her, and she is SERIOUSLY not grasping the concept of "alphabetical order"; I even wrote the following sentence: "The footnotes need to appear in this order: a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, but your original manuscript had them in this order: a, b, c, d, e, h, g, f, i, which is why they were re-ordered" and she STILL DOESN'T GET IT I AM GOING TO SHANK SOMEONE).
Steph, the list starts out a,b,c,d and I bet her brain skips the rest of it and doesn't see what's wrong. Try saying "g and h cannot come before f. Alphabetical order is required."
Or just keep repeating "They need to be in alphabetical order." Over and over.
I'd be in jail already if I had to do Teppy and Zen's job. No lie.
Saints. All y'all.
I'd be in jail already if I had to do Teppy and Zen's job. No lie.
Maria is me. By this point I would be tempted to send a link to a Sesame Street video where they're singing the alphabet.
I was recently copyediting a document that contains a list of sponsors for a conference. Whoever put the list together somehow managed to move a bunch of cities around - as in, Austin, GA; Atlanta, PA; and so on. The ones I spotted I googled to make sure I had the correct state, but I didn't have time to search on all of them ... I referred it to a higher authority and went on to something else.
I feel validated! I'd lose what's left of my mind if I had to do one of y'all's jobs that involve money and/or math.
Have I told the story of when one of my friends had a client who insisted that 10% of anything was always 10? Because 100% is the whole thing, and 10% of 100 is 10, therefore 10% is always 10! Easy!
The author finally emailed back (I swear this is an actual quote) "Oh! The footnotes have to be in order in the table!"
YES WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE TABLE I DON'T EVEN
But at least she says she understands, so it should be off my plate. Now I just have to get through this dreaded board meeting. The secretary emailed the agenda earlier and I wanted to stab myself in the face just from reading it. (Definitely a sign I need to be off the board.)
