It was the '50s, wasn't it? the great bland wasteland ... popular names were Cathy/Kathy, Karen, Linda, Susan, Mary ... and perkiness was probably a factor.

I'm having impostor syndrome SO badly that now I'm laughing at myself and realizing that maybe I'm just actually good at my job.

The freelance coordinator has sent me consistently fantastic feedback (using phrases like "excellent editing" and multiple exclamation points) over the last couple of weeks. And I have brushed it off with the following excuses:

1. Well, I edited that while I was hopped up on migraine meds, so maybe I need to be tripping balls to edit well.
2. Well, I've been tapering off my Lexapro for the past 2 weeks, so maybe it was making my brain fuzzy while I was taking it but now that I'm going off it my brain is working properly and I'm editing well.
[NOTE: Numbers 1 and 2 kind of contradict each other. Either I'm a good editor because of drugs or I'm a good editor because of not-drugs.]
3. Well, really, the articles she's given me in the past 2 weeks were easy ones, even if they were long.
4. Well, I'm probably more alert because it's spring and there's more sunlight, so I'm editing better.

By the time I got to #4, I realized how completely ridiculous I sound and that, DAMN, lady, you have impostor syndrome big time and maybe shut up and accept that you're good at what you do.

(Though I still secretly think it's the drugs. Seriously, I was tripping BALLS last Thursday, and that was the article I got 4 exclamation marks on.)

Seriously, I was tripping BALLS last Thursday, and that was the article I got 4 exclamation marks on

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Also, I flashed to the Mary Tyler Moore episode where she and Rhoda get drunk and update the station's obit file.

Teppy - you are an excellent editor. You have multiple e-mails that say so. Duh.

Work is going to be nuts for the next month. One of my big, fast spend projects was supposed to end Thursday. We won the follow on contract, but the client hasn't gotten all the paperwork done and to us, so they extended the current contract through April. Unfortunately there is not enough money left on the contract to work through April. Add to this our accounting person put in her notice and Friday is supposed to be her last day. They are trying to convince her to stay and so far a successor has not been named. Then our contracts person is fairly new to the company and this project. She is overloaded and not being very responsive. All of this is BEFORE we get the new contract, have to set up the new projects, set-up the new purchase orders, shut down the old projects, close out the old purchase orders and keep the work going. I'm one of the center points for organizing the flow between the project team and accounting/contracts. But I can't do anything right now. It is hurry up and wait and then craziness will ensue.

Teppy - you are an excellent editor. You have multiple e-mails that say so. Duh.

Oh, I'm just laughing at myself at this point. I got so OTT with trying to explain it away as anything other than my own skill, and once I reached an absurd enough point of OTT-ness, then I realized how ridiculous I was being and just had to laugh.

Liese, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Anna is more ethnic than Patty?

Tep, how great that you can recognize and laugh! That makes me very happy.

Oh my goodness, Suzi, that sounds like an adventure waiting to happen.

I got Thai food for lunch. Rad na and labna sound like words in an alien language. I don't mean the Thai language sounds made up, I mean those particular words sound like some particular made up language that I can't quite remember the context for. There's a voice I hear them in, though. Kind of high-pitched and metallic sounding.

Condolences, Liese. :( And sj.

I am so anxious right now. That's not usually a thing for me but my tummy is all fluttery and my pulse is racing. I think it's a combo of work stuff (I have no idea what I'm doing, in this new position, and that's scary, as is figuring out if I'll even LIKE it) and personal stuff (I think the girl I've been dating since New Years and I are going to break up, and more than breaking up, I hate anticipating that conversation and I hate having that conversation. But sending an abrupt "you're being weird and if you want to break up lets just be broken up ok?" text would not be cool)

I'm so sorry for your loss, Liese.

I'm sorry for your loss, Liese.