Jayne ,'Jaynestown'
A place where we can talk about ita, miss ita, and share information about memorials. The hugging started over here in Natter.
I've been having a hard time getting out of bed. Writing her obituary is such horseshit. Talking about her in the past tense is stupid and wrong.
I'm either in denial, angry, or sleeping. I was going through photos looking for the "perfect photo" for her obituary. That's such incredible bullshit. This is so wrong. Everything is wrong. I'm struggling to find reasons to get up in the morning, with my perfectly not-in-pain head.
Oh, Allyson, this is all so natural a response. You shouldn't have to be writing her obituary. But you're doing as well as you can, and it's so good that you're doing all this tough work as a gift to her.
I think you are forgetting how fantastic you are, Allyson. Which I get, because I have been where you have been this past year and I know how easy it is to forget your own worth. But truly truly, not only do you have lovely hair, but you are awesome. ita was probably my number one Buffista idol, practically a celebrity in my brain because of all the awesome. But you? You are probably number two.
Get out of bed, put one foot in front of the other, and just go through the motions. Eventually it will get easier and at some point you'll realize you are living again instead of just pretending.
Allyson, it is 100% bullshit. And you have pretty, pretty hair.
100% bullshit.
There's no way for this to not suck. Your brain is going to lie to you a lot. Because this sucks.
Allyson, it is stupid, and wrong, and against all laws of what should be or makes sense. And I'm sorry that you have to do it. Because it is stupid, and wrong, and stupid. But you're doing great.
It is completely wrong. Having to cope with it shouldn't be happening, because this shouldn't be happening. I wish I had better words than I'm sorry. I know how amazing you all were, are, and will be for ita and her family. That's a thing beyond measure.
I handed the obit off to Burrell. I'm going to put on shoes and go get her family the phones they need. That much, I can do.
good idea.
because it is wrong
and some one else can do it.