Maria, I'm so sorry.
Fuck January, man. It's a month of birthdays for a lot of people I love, but it's also the month we lost ita, and the month I lost my mom. Fuck this fucking month.
(I think I've hit the anger stage of the evening. I can't tell if that's better than numb.)
I've been writing vicious letters to her doctors in my head a lot of today.
Right. There. With. You.
Lots of fuckery apparently. Joe's grandmother is getting moved to hospice ASAP. She's basically given up and will not be with us for much longer, we suspect.
Is this where we are, now? Is this the time of our lives where we...we just talk more and more about those that have...?
Well, maybe it is, but...not...not ita. It's like Superman dying. It's not real, right? It's a gimmick, it's marketing, it's just to spark our interest again...
...she'll be back, right?
I mean, yeah, we'll have to deal with a few months of itagirl, ita's clone; and Cyborg ita; Steel ita; which one is the real ita Returned? But...
But...
...
...real life sucks ass.
I'm so sorry, Maria. I'm glad you and your guy have each other to help get through today and tonight.
Maria, that's too much. But bless him (and his family, since they're the ones who have to agree) for donating his organs.
Could it be an imaginary story? That would be great.
I'm so sorry, Maria. It's so unfair.
Our trivia team name was "The Firefly universe has lost a moon." I broke into tears periodically.
Oh, Ginger.
Maria, I am so sorry.
My daughter just said "wow she had a lot of people who loved her". She truly did.
She does.
askye, your post was lovely. And well said.
I'm sorry, Maria.
I forgot to eat today. That's probably... not helpful. I thought I was doing borderline functioning, powering through. Even swam ok. And now I'm mad at myself for not being and now even mentioning it because it isn't about me and I don't want to be here doing this.I'm just mad. And want to hide, but all my hiding places are filled with the thing I want to hide from.
Well, maybe it is, but...not...not ita. It's like Superman dying. It's not real, right? It's a gimmick, it's marketing, it's just to spark our interest again...
I'm waiting for the retcon.