Willow: Happy hunting. Buffy: Wish me monsters.

'Beneath You'


Natter 72: We Were Unprepared for This  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Sue - Jun 13, 2014 1:04:02 pm PDT #29834 of 30000
hip deep in pie

The ghost of Leif Erikson?

Perhaps!


Cass - Jun 13, 2014 1:06:38 pm PDT #29835 of 30000
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.

My actual good days have a lot more motherfucks. Challenging days with multiple stores that should have all had something and then a blow out? Substantially more.

I did however refrain today from using that exact phrasing at the dog park to a friend of an acquaintance who thought goading his two older dogs into rough play with my foster puppy was okay. I also refrained from motherfucking punching him. Was glad when he left motherfucking though. I could finally relax in my foldy chair under a tree and read for a while in glorious motherfucking peace.


askye - Jun 13, 2014 1:56:00 pm PDT #29836 of 30000
Thrive to spite them

I must have done something wrong with the dialect quiz because Singaporean was the first choice for dialect. Native language was Vietnamese Spanish and then English.


askye - Jun 13, 2014 1:56:01 pm PDT #29837 of 30000
Thrive to spite them

askye - Jun 13, 2014 1:56:01 pm PDT #29838 of 30000
Thrive to spite them

askye - Jun 13, 2014 1:56:05 pm PDT #29839 of 30000
Thrive to spite them

Jessica - Jun 13, 2014 2:10:23 pm PDT #29840 of 30000
If I want to become a cloud of bats, does each bat need a separate vaccination?

Weren't you a college student yourself when we started all this, Jess, or just barely done?

Daaaaaaaaaaaang. We've been at this a while.

I found the Buffistas on TT in late 2000 or early 2001, at one of my first temp jobs when I had run out of things to do and the internets were still somewhat shiny and new.


hippocampus - Jun 13, 2014 2:29:37 pm PDT #29841 of 30000
not your mom's socks.

Catching up. On my phone so typos. This week has been intense, though it feels like a walk in the park when I read the board.

Ginger I hope your week gets better (from way back).

Kat, good luck with the band aids and the next round.

Congratulations to Emmett and the family!

Typo - glad you got your levels up finally.

ita - congratulations on the interview!

Hoping for better luck next time Calli.

Sarameg, we have this cold. It is an evil cold and for us, we are still wiped out days later. I hope you feel better soon.

SuziQ - hoping the new drugs work. Thinking of you.

We are watching World Cup on telemundo. HPF likes the commercials better than Australia v. Chili. I don't disagree. Holland v. Spain was better.


SuziQ - Jun 13, 2014 3:07:24 pm PDT #29842 of 30000
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame

Thanks Sox.

David, K-Bug graduated from Sonoma State with a Kinesiology degree. And lived in the dorms all three years. If Emmett has any questions I'm sure she'd be happy to talk with him.


§ ita § - Jun 13, 2014 3:20:35 pm PDT #29843 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Because of a quote I read in a story, I ended up googling the Consent Is Sexy university targeted campaign. The text of one of the posters reads:

1. DO YOU GET IT? Be sure she wants you as much as you want her. Get consent. Ask her first, “Is this OK with you?” And always respect her decision. Sex with consent is sexy. Sex without consent is rape. Respect yourself. Respect your partner.

There are more posters, targeted at women as well, for instance. Then I go down the Google results, and come to article saying "Consent Is Sexy” Is Useful But Also Kind Of Sketchy. Objections include:

First of all, sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes the answer is “no,” and the person who withholds consent can’t always (nor should they) refuse in a sexy way. Sometimes you ask “Is this okay?” and they tell you that it’s not because last time they did that it was rape.

What does that have to do with consent being sexy? It's not consent, it doesn't have to be sexy. In fact, if we read the whole poster, non-consent is rape.

So repeating “consent is sexy” over and over promotes a false image of what negotiating consent is actually like

It's not talking about the character of negotiation--it's talking about getting it.

Encouraging people to think of consent as “sexy” also implies that you should ask for consent because it’s sexy. Yes, I realize that nobody who promotes this message actually thinks that, which is why I said “implies.” But nevertheless, the constant stream of “Always ask for consent! Consent is sexy!” coming from sexual health advocates (including myself) sometimes sends the message that it’s the sexiness of consent that makes it such a vital part of healthy sexuality.

Does it imply that for you? That they're selling negotiation as sexy as opposed to required?

I’ll state the obvious: you shouldn’t get consent because it’s sexy. You should get consent because it’s the only way to be certain that you’re not assaulting someone

Is this not clearly stated in

Sex without consent is rape. Respect yourself. Respect your partner.

The article was written because the author Miri was at a university Sex Week, so I don't think she's only seeing the small pink pins that only say "Consent Is Sexy", and if they are, they should know better that it's not a complete campaign. Complain the posters are sidelined. Complain that people only see the buttons, and they don't say "Sex with consent is sexy" or even more.

And too many of her commenters agree with her.