Because of a quote I read in a story, I ended up googling the Consent Is Sexy university targeted campaign. The text of one of the posters reads:
1. DO YOU GET IT? Be sure she wants you as much as you want her. Get consent. Ask her first, “Is this OK with you?” And always respect her decision. Sex with consent is sexy. Sex without consent is rape. Respect yourself. Respect your partner.
There are more posters, targeted at women as well, for instance. Then I go down the Google results, and come to article saying "Consent Is Sexy” Is Useful But Also Kind Of Sketchy. Objections include:
First of all, sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes the answer is “no,” and the person who withholds consent can’t always (nor should they) refuse in a sexy way. Sometimes you ask “Is this okay?” and they tell you that it’s not because last time they did that it was rape.
What does that have to do with consent being sexy? It's not consent, it doesn't have to be sexy. In fact, if we read the whole poster, non-consent is rape.
So repeating “consent is sexy” over and over promotes a false image of what negotiating consent is actually like
It's not talking about the character of negotiation--it's talking about getting it.
Encouraging people to think of consent as “sexy” also implies that you should ask for consent because it’s sexy. Yes, I realize that nobody who promotes this message actually thinks that, which is why I said “implies.” But nevertheless, the constant stream of “Always ask for consent! Consent is sexy!” coming from sexual health advocates (including myself) sometimes sends the message that it’s the sexiness of consent that makes it such a vital part of healthy sexuality.
Does it imply that for you? That they're selling negotiation as sexy as opposed to required?
I’ll state the obvious: you shouldn’t get consent because it’s sexy. You should get consent because it’s the only way to be certain that you’re not assaulting someone
Is this not clearly stated in
Sex without consent is rape. Respect yourself. Respect your partner.
The article was written because the author Miri was at a university Sex Week, so I don't think she's only seeing the small pink pins that only say "Consent Is Sexy", and if they are, they should know better that it's not a complete campaign. Complain the posters are sidelined. Complain that people only see the buttons, and they don't say "Sex with consent is sexy" or even more.
And too many of her commenters agree with her.