Here is today's Facebook Post That I Will Not Respond To, posted by my cousin:
"Is it just me, or is the Twilight book way, WAY better than the movie?"
Uh. Zuh? There is no "better" there, love. PUT DOWN THE BOOK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
And my slightly bonkers aunt chimed in with "I loved the book series. Kristen Stewart was okay in the first movie, but so wooden in all the others. Also, she acted so macho."
Oh, family. (This cousin shares my "Arrow" squee, so she's good people in my book, despite the Twilight readingness.)
My sympathies, Steph. I got dragged to the first Twilight movie by my mom, my sister, and sister-in-law. I just tried my best not to shit all over their enthusiasm.
If they try to make me go to the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, I'm gonna throw down.
It's snowing again. Whyyyy.
My sympathies, Steph. I got dragged to the first Twilight movie by my mom, my sister, and sister-in-law. I just tried my best not to shit all over their enthusiasm.
My mom and aunt cheerfully went to the Twilight movies together. I mocked my mom, because we have that kind of relationship. (I think she actually opened herself up to mocking by saying "Aunt B. and I are going to the Twilight movie at the cheap theatre. DON'T JUDGE ME!" When you say "don't judge me" -- especially in ASSCAPS -- in my family, you're basically begging for some quality judging.)
If they try to make me go to the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, I'm gonna throw down.
Is there even a remote possibility your MOTHER would want to see a BDSM movie with you? Because the very concept makes my brain melt.
My BFF likes Twilight. I love her anyway. To her credit, she realizes it's awful.
Is there even a remote possibility your MOTHER would want to see a BDSM movie with you? Because the very concept makes my brain melt.
I most sincerely hope not, and I deliberately have never mentioned the books to my family because I do not want to know if they've read them.
I haven't read them either, beyond quotes and dramatic readings people have foisted upon me while we were waiting for the midnight premiere of The Avengers (god damn you, tampon scene), but I imagine the BDSM will be toned down to capture a wider audience.
In any case, the world does not need me sitting next to my mother in a movie theater while I shout at the screen how they're doing BDSM all wrong.
while I shout at the screen how they're doing BDSM all wrong.
They do EVERYTHING wrong. Part of me wants to get really drunk and see the movie (I would NEVER go sober), but I know I'd get thrown out for my constant stream of heckling and invective. So I can save that $10.
Don't want to know don't want to know!
(god damn you, tampon scene)
Wait, what?
No no no, please don't elaborate!
