Wow. I just got the most shitty passive-aggressive comment directed at me on FB (on someone else's post, not mine, so it's not something anyone here can go see), about not being invited to the wedding. It was something along the lines of "When a very important day happens and only a few in the circle go while many were left out." (The person whose post it is was one of our friends who was at the wedding.)

Great. Are we in grade school now?

There is literally no way I can respond to that, is there? Anything is going to sound like a weak-ass excuse. Jesus. The venue held 50 people. Our families made up about 40 spots. And we wanted to be able to celebrate with our closest friends. Which apparently was wrong, because if we couldn't invite all 100 of our social acquaintances, then apparently we shouldn't have invited anyone.

Jesus, I wouldn't have even invited all of our social acquaintances even if we had had the room and budget, because...no. HELL no. But, you know, FUCK what the actual bride and groom wanted, right?

That is rude and hurtful and there's absolutely no way I can respond. Although I was thinking of "Bitch, PLEASE."

(And the funniest part is that this person, earlier in the summer, was invited to a mutual friend's wedding that Tim and I weren't invited to, and she posted pictures, and my reaction was "Wedding pictures YAAAAAAAY!!!" I totally missed the part where I was supposed to be hurt that someone else's wedding wasn't all about me.)

Unless you can get your friend who posted to respond, I think best to let it lie. And do some cursing, just not on FB.

And do some cursing, just not on FB.

Which is why I'm venting here. So I can get sympathetic fist-shakes of raaaaage.

Your wedding day was about you guys, Tep. The point was to celebrate the way you wanted to, and you did. No guilt.

Also? Some people are always going to find something to bitch about. Like they say, you can't control what other people think, but you can control the way you respond. Which is, like, brenda said, not to in this case, I think.

Oh yes. Fist-shaking at the jackassery commencing!

Some people are always going to find something to bitch about.

Seriously. If we had been able to invite the woman who made the shitty comment (and she really WAS on the list of "if there's room, we want her there"), then someone ELSE would have been hurt.

In fact, we haven't really seen many people yet since the wedding, and I'm anticipating uncomfortable interactions when we do, along the line of "Oh, Betty and Barney were there? Gee, I wish WE could have been there, too!"

And 99% of these people are married. They planned weddings! They know you can't have 300 people just to make sure no one's delicate baby feelings are hurt! Because IT'S NOT THIRD GRADE.

Ugh, Teppy. How ridiculous. My BFF is getting married around Christmas, and there's been this whole drama with a friend and it's made me roll my eyes forever. Have I sometimes been sad if I wasn't invited to a wedding? Heck yes. But have I accepted that it's a thing, and lord knows I've also been to weddings where I have hardly seen the bride and groom since? Yes. It's one day, shit happens, you go on.

BFF and I both used to be friends with this girl K. She was a fairly good friend of both of ours. But she's a terrible correspondent, and has gotten really wrapped up in work the past few years. So I haven't talked to her in forever. I still think of her fondly, but we really aren't friends anymore. Meanwhile, BFF still lives in the same city as her, but also hardly sees her, or talks to her. The only reason BFF does sometimes see her is that K has been off and on dating another good friend, M. M is the other "best man" at the wedding. BFF thought about it, and was like "Look, I'm not going to invite K. She's not really a good friend anymore. But I am inviting M with a plus one, and if he wants that to be K, no problem". But apparently K is finding this to be horribly insulting and upsetting, and M was like "you should call her and tell her and talk to her" and my response was "Seriously?? The only thing worse than not being invited to someone's wedding is being CALLED UP AND TOLD YOU AREN'T INVITED"

Oh, teh dramz.

People are so weird about that stuff. That's why we decided to elope, because we are so unable to deal with that pettiness, and we're kind of babies about it.

They know you can't have 300 people just to make sure no one's delicate baby feelings are hurt! Because IT'S NOT THIRD GRADE.

And yet! It's so absurd.

Rant to us and continue to ignore her. Grownups, and I assume she is one, should know better. And yet!

Stupid typos.

People are so weird about that stuff. That's why we decided to elope, because we are so unable to deal with that pettiness, and we're kind of babies about it.

I'm glad we did it the way we did it, and I thought grown-ass adults would understand that (1) our wedding is not actually ABOUT THEM, and (2) weddings actually have monetary -- and SANITY -- restrictions on them 99% of the time, and therefore 99% of weddings probably can't accomodate the entire fucking world.

Man, I don't even want to deal with this person, and I know I have to see her next weekend. Or, wait, maybe the next weekend. Anyway, soon. And now I just want to punch her in the throat.

I get being disappointed about not being invited to something other people were invited to. But making shitty passive-aggressive comments about it online where you know it'll be seen by the person who didn't invite you? That's just childish.