askye, take care of yourself first. Eat something. Take it in your room if you don't want to cause a ruckus by eating in front of E. Feeding yourself when you need to eat is essential self-care. You can do it.

I'm in my room, headphones on, it's dark and cool and I'm watching LMM and Chris Jackson sing One Last Time on FB. going to deal with food soon and I realized I forgot to pick up prescriptions. I can deal with one night without some but I have to remember tomorrow.

At the theater they are serious about no outside food or drink, they searched our purses.

Also there's a big sign that says not only do they ID everyone for R rated movie but no child under age 11 will be allowed in an R rated movie eve accompanied by an adult.

One the downside htey were playing Hillary's America but it's small town South.

So, I'm not good at calmly reacting to things and assessing them. I know this. But. Tim had a pulmonary function test today because people with RA can develop lung problems, some of them severe. He's still at work, but his doctor just called and told me that the test indicate lung disease -- he didn't say what type (there can be several) or how severe, but that Tim needs to see a pulmonary specialist soon.

So I googled, which is a bad idea even if you have a decent background in medical knowledge. There's really no *good* rheumatoid lung disease. So I'm freaking out HARD.

I know I should be calm until the appointment with the pulmonary specialist, because maybe this is on the minor end of the scale. It's crazy to borrow trouble and panic before we even know what's going on.

But I'm panicking. I am freaking out. HARD. Tim is still at work, and needs to work late, and I called him to ask him to come home so I can tell him that he has lung disease that might not have a good prognosis.

God, you guys.

Steph --- that's just. I can't even imagine. I'd be stressing out too.

I don't know what to say other than I'm sending all kinds of thoughts and prayers Tim's way that the news is the best it can be.

askye is wise. Thinking of you and Tim, Teppy.

Of course you are stressing, this is a natural reaction of a loving spouse.

That said, it is always best to know as early as possible so that all that can be done will be done. It must be early or Tim would have already had symptoms of lung issues. Knowledge is power. Get the consult and do what needs to be done to nip this in the bud. Also, hugs of the virtual non scary 1500 miles away variety.

Solidarity, Teppy.

Best wishes for a good resolution, Steph.

Steph, gettimg freaked out is pretty much the rational reaction to news like that. I'm sorry that you have such scary news to deal with. Much love and ~ma for you both.

askye, have you ever been drawn to stimming behaviors? I know some teachers and parents try to discourage this kind of activity, more so in the past, but there are places that sell safely designed stimming toys. And I was wondering if stimming might help you channel some of your anxiety and stress feelings to head off a meltdown.