Epic, I'll mention it just in case, but have you looked into the alerts (I believe they make them in bracelets and necklaces now) that allow her to push a button in case she falls? Also for peace of mind (since she's pretty independent but you want to be able to check on her easily) maybe a couple of dropcams? They're not too expensive and VERY easy to set up using your home's wi-fi.

Actually, we've got a little keyfob alert thingy - she just keeps managing to not have it on her when she falls. She's gotten better about that, but I have to confirm whether, when she hits the button, she'd get an operator or they just automatically call 911. Because I know her - she'd push the button if she could get an operator to call me or the neighbor for help, but if it's 911, she'd probably stay on the floor for a few hours before she'd push the button and let them send another ambulance.

What's a dropcam?

It's this! I have them set up to watch my porch cat and my dogs.

[link]

In some ways, I would agree: having an attendant is a fucking job. Or, at least, you're not just relaxing while Mary Poppins keeps everything spit-spot or whatever. I hate being both a product *and* Human Resources. Ain't seemly.

The dropcam is a great idea.

A couple of months ago, we made plans for a long weekend trip--the first non-family or work-related vacation in several years. We are going up to visit our friend Andy in Vancouver, where he's working on the new Star Trek movie. Last week, J brought home a terrible deathly cold/flu thing and gave it to me. He's a bit better, but still pretty sick, and I am feeling awful. We leave tomorrow.

So, it's an achy, phlegm-filled trip to Canada for us. Not as romantic as I had hoped. I pointed out the worst thing was that would not be looking my best when I meet my future husband, Idris Elba, on the set. J was, surprisingly unsympathetic to this problem.

I am overwhelmingly sympathetic, also sending ~ma that the vacation will end up being a healthy one.

Epic, can you get across to your mother the importance of keeping the alert button on her at all times and using it if she falls? Because if she would adhere to that, you could leave her alone more comfortably. Sounds like what she wants is independence, but she doesn't have a clear sense of what behaviors on her part will best ensure she gets to stay home and live independently.

That weird point in all our lives when parents start acting more like children.

Sending you strength and support, Epic.

That weird point in all our lives when parents start acting more like children.

Tim's dad's dementia is really progressing, and it worries me that he lives alone. We took him to the grocery store last night, and it was the first time he really just started wandering aimlessly, whenever something caught his eye. Like, an entire frozen salmon -- he said his doctor recommended eating more fish, but Tim's dad can only cook in the microwave these days, which is not going to work for an entire salmon. We convinced him to get canned tuna. But then when we got home and were putting the groceries away, I asked him where to put the tuna, and he asked, "Why do I have tuna? What's that for?"

I guarantee the tuna will still be sitting on the counter uneaten next week.