My feet keep swelling up in the short time I have my compression socks off so I can shower. Not sure what to do about that.

I'm sorry, Calli. That's hard. I'm glad you got to see her when you could. Sometimes the singing birds and knowing the cat still needs to be fed is all that keeps us getting up in the morning.

sj, I wish you all the spoons you need today. And waterproof compression socks.

Thanks, y'all. I'm so tired I think I'm starting to smell colors.

I've had a crappy weekend and beginning of the week. Let me back up, since like last Wednesday things have been rocky.

It's the kind of thing that makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to work full time and even why I'm trying.

{{{Calli}}}

I was an hour late (putting on shoes and braces by myself has become quite a task), but I made it. And I ended up having a good time once I got over the onerousness of getting there. I even stopped at the Farmer's market on the way home. My cousins' kids are adorable and getting so big!

My mother, however is failing at her task of telling people that I will not take gifts until the baby is born. So, then I have to be the one to say "thank you, and I'd be happy to open this after ltc is born". Honestly, even looking at the pretty packages just makes me nervous, as does talk like "next time I see you you'll have had the baby!". I just want to keep adding "hopefully".

{{{askye}}} I'm so sorry you're having a rough week. Is there anything any of us can do?

Sending you love, askye. It sucks not having answers for life stuff.

For fifty bucks, I would be a wiseass and tell this person that talks about Planned Parenthood killing the innocent either Western-style "Some folks need killing." or that my fictional sister had a sonogram and the kid looked at me funny, but I totes don't want to be on Fox News today even with "loofah" in tow.

(Look, I don't really feel that way about babies...I like them and feel sad sometimes that they can't be a part of what I used to call my Life's Plan(TM) What gets my back up is that they write this pompous bull as if I'm gonna say "Thank you, Avenging Stranger with a Penis...I guess I let my foolish lady passions overwhelm me as I grieve my worthless, barren life." On the other hand, nobody gave me the fifty bucks, either.

Thanks.

sj I wish there was something any of you can do but there's nothing it's just trying to accept where I am in my life right now without judgement (radical acceptance) and figure out how to live with it and through it.

I wish someone could say - this is what you need to do. I'm going to work on pros and cons lists for a few things, not just the DBT group and then figure things out.

I really want to stay home tomorrow becuase I'm in such turmoil but that's not the right choice so I'll go to work. At least it won't be so hot.