(Look, I don't really feel that way about babies...I like them and feel sad sometimes that they can't be a part of what I used to call my Life's Plan(TM) What gets my back up is that they write this pompous bull as if I'm gonna say "Thank you, Avenging Stranger with a Penis...I guess I let my foolish lady passions overwhelm me as I grieve my worthless, barren life." On the other hand, nobody gave me the fifty bucks, either.

Thanks.

sj I wish there was something any of you can do but there's nothing it's just trying to accept where I am in my life right now without judgement (radical acceptance) and figure out how to live with it and through it.

I wish someone could say - this is what you need to do. I'm going to work on pros and cons lists for a few things, not just the DBT group and then figure things out.

I really want to stay home tomorrow becuase I'm in such turmoil but that's not the right choice so I'll go to work. At least it won't be so hot.

If I'd had the 50 bucks... I did not think that represented your opinion, just that it would have been a funny parody of right wind (not a typo) tough talk.

Askye, that sounds like a good plan. I'm sorry it's not easier.

I survived the day, but I guess I overdid it because I'm exhausted and weepy tonight. I have plans tomorrow but I suspect after that I should just stick close to home unless someone else is driving. It's just too much for me at this point.

Sorry, love.

Vortex Health Follow Up - Went back to discuss tests with doctor. Blood work and CAT scan all normal. No explanation for said symptoms, but I will hydrate more in the future.

askye, it sounds like you are using the tools (when you said that about wanting to stay home, I thought "Oh! Opposite action!"). I know it doesn't seem like it, but digging out of a hole is not a quick process. I can't offer "I've been there" support, but all I can offer is "you're doing the work, which is all that can be done" encouragement.

I'm glad the results of the tests were normal. It has been hot and humid lately so I hope hydrating helps.

Glad you can appreciate it, Typo. I was, like, a heartbeat away from posting, before I pictured it as a meme headlined "Every bit as callous as you think...and MORE," and that's a lot to put my family through to screw with some fucknut because I'm bored and he's being ridiculous.

"Every bit as callous as you think...and MORE,"

NATLBSB

Yay for good results, Vortex. Consider a chiropractor as adjustments fixed that problem for me. I had it often when I did race training.

Debet thanks, I know I need to act opposite. I keep telling myself. Also if I get there I have coping toools. I have breathing. I have grounding techniques. I have my stuffed owl in my bag and I have klonopin.

Hopefully I'll get there and won't need them. And I need to go to bed. I don't want to.

I found this app called What's Up that has DBT skills and info in it. Breathing exercises and grounding exercises. So instead of doing five senses thing (5 things you smell/hear/taste/etc), it has things like name 5 different animals that are tiny,name 5 brands of cars, name 5 favorite foods.

I think it would be so cool to do a geek related one. I think I mentioned this before and am repeating myself. But seriously you need to distract and ground and instead of "Name 5 different animals that can climb" it would be "Name 5 of your favorite sci fi shows" or "Name 5 shows that Mark Sheppard has been in" . You proably couldn't do specific shows like "Name five ways the Winchester brothers have died" w/out copyright issues but it would be cool. Or even "think of five songs from musicals".

I'm workign to stay hydrated because of edema in my feet/ankles. It's supposed to help so I'm eating a lot of lettuces, celery, fruit, and drinking a lot of water. My evening snack was watermelon and a quarter head of iceberg lettuce with water to drink.